their fellow travellers: and I had the good fortune to
find my mistress not quite so deformed nor disagreeable as she had been
represented to me. Her head, indeed, bore some resemblance to a hatchet,
the edge being represented by her face; but she had a certain delicacy
in her complexion, and a great deal of vivacity in her eyes, which were
very large and black; and, though the protuberance of her breast, when
considered alone, seemed to drag her forwards, it was easy to perceive
an equivalent on her back which balanced the other, and kept her body
in equilibrio. On the whole, I thought I should have great reason to
congratulate myself if it should be my fate to possess twenty thousand
pounds encumbered with such a wife. I began therefore to deliberate
about the most probable means of acquiring the conquest, and was so much
engrossed by this idea, that I scarce took any notice of the rest of
the people in the coach, but revolved my project in silence; while the
conversation was maintained as before by the object of my hopes, the son
of Mars, and the barrister, who by this time recollected himself, and
talked in terms as much as ever. At length a dispute happened, which
ended in a wager, to be determined by me, who was so much absorbed in
contemplation, that I neither heard the reference nor the question which
was put to me by each in his turn. Affronted at my supposed contempt,
the soldier with great vociferation swore I was either dumb or deaf if
not both, and that I looked as if I could not say Bo to a goose. Aroused
at this observation, I fixed my eyes upon him, and pronounced with
emphasis the interjection Bo! Upon which he cocked his hat in a fierce
manner, and cried, "D--me sir, what d'ye mean by that." Had I intended
to answer him, which by the by was not my design, I should have been
anticipated by Miss, who told him, my meaning was to show, that I could
cry Bo to a goose; and laughed very heartily at my laconic reproof. Her
explanation and mirth did not help to appease his wrath, which broke
out in several martial insinuations, such as--"I do not understand such
freedoms, d--me! D--n my blood! I'm a gentleman, and bear the king's
commission. 'Sblood! some people deserve to have their noses pulled for
their impertinence." I thought to have checked these ejaculations by a
frown; because he had talked so much of his valour that I had long ago
rated him as an ass in a lion's skin; but this expedient did not answer
m