mises. These two sallies had not the desired effect. We continued a
good while as mute as before, till at length the gentleman of the sword,
impatient of longer silence, made a second effort, by swearing he had
got into a meeting of quakers. "I believe so too," said a shrill female
voice at my left hand, "for the spirit of folly begins to move." "Out
with it then, madam!" replied the soldier. "You seem to have no occasion
for a midwife," cried the lady. "D--mn my blood!" exclaimed the other,
"a man can't talk to a woman, but she immediately thinks of a midwife."
"True sir," said she, "I long to be delivered." "What of--a mouse,
madam?" said he. "No, Sir," said she, "of a fool." "Are you far gone
with a fool?" said he. "Little more than two miles," said she. "By
Gad, you're a wit, madam," cried the officer, "I wish I could with any
justice return the compliment," said the lady. "Zounds, I have done,"
said he. "Your bolt is soon shot, according to the old proverb," said
she. The warrior's powder was quite spent; the lawyer advised him to
drop the prosecution, and a grave matron, who sat on the left hand of
the victorious wit, told her she must not let her tongue run so fast
among strangers. This reprimand, softened with the appellation of child,
convinced me that the satirical lady was no other than Miss Snapper,
and I resolved to regulate my conduct accordingly. The champion, finding
himself so smartly handled, changed his battery, and began to expatiate
on his own exploits. "You talk of shot, madam," said he; "d--me! I
have both given and received some shot in my time--I was wounded in the
shoulder by a pistol ball at Dettingen, where--I say nothing--but by
G--d! if it had not been for me--all's one for that--I despise boasting,
d-me! whiz!" So saying, he whistled one part and hummed another, of
the Black Joke; then, addressing himself to the lawyer, went on thus;
"Wouldn't you think it d--d hard, after having, at the risk of your
life, recovered the standard of a regiment that had been lost, to
receive no preferment for your pains? I don't choose to name no names,
sink me! but, howsomever, this I will refer, by G--d! and that is
this--a musketeer of the French guards, having a standard from a certain
cornet of a certain regiment, d--e! was retreating with his prize
as fast as his horse's heels could carry him, sink me! Upon which, I
snatched up firelock that belonged to a dead man, d--me! Whiz! and shot
his horse under h