gold, and silver, of two
priests who waked up a Rain-dragon and had to run for it, all round the
edge of a big shield; but the liveliest worker of the batch was a small
fat baby who had been given a tenpenny nail, a hammer, and a block of
metal to play with, that he might soak in the art by which he would
live, through the pores of his skin. He crowed and chuckled as he
whacked. There are not many five-year-olds in England who could hammer
anything without pulping their little pink fingers. The baby had learned
how to hit straight. On the wall of the room hung a Japanese painting of
the Apotheosis of Art. It represented with fidelity all the processes of
pottery from the digging of the clay to the last firing. But all the
pencilled scorn of the artist was reserved for the closing scene, where
an Englishman, his arm round his wife's waist, was inspecting a shop
full of curios. The Japanese are not impressed with the grace of our
clothing or the beauty of our countenances. Later we beheld the
manufacture of gold lacquer, which is laid on speck by speck from an
agate palette fitted on the artist's thumb; and the carving of ivory,
which is exciting until you begin to realise that the graver never
slips.

"A lot of their art is purely mechanical" said the Professor, when he
was safe back in the hotel.

"So's a lot of ours--'specially our pictures. Only we can't be
spiritedly mechanical," I answered. "Fancy a people like the Japanese
solemnly going in for a constitution. Observe! The only two nations with
constitution worth having are the English and the Americans. The English
can only be artistic in spots and by way of the art of other
nations--Sicilian tapestries, Persian saddle-bags, Khoten carpets, and
the sweepings of pawn-brokers' shops. The Americans are artistic so long
as a few of 'em can buy their Art to keep abreast of the times with.
Spain is artistic, but she is also disturbed at intervals; France is
artistic, but she must have her revolution every twenty years for the
sake of fresh material; Russia is artistic, but she occasionally wishes
to kill her Czar, and has no sort of Government; Germany is not
artistic, because she experienced religion; and Italy is artistic,
because she did very badly. India--"

"When you have finished your verdict on the world, perhaps you'll go to
bed."

"Consequently," I continued, with scorn, "I am of opinion that a
constitution is the worst thing in the world for a people who