, endeavouring to
free itself in vain. And half resisting, half consenting, against her
own will, to be pulled, she came slowly towards me, leaning back, and
looking at me with eyes that seemed to implore me to release her, and
yet, unable to be harsh, no matter what I did. And at last, she
reached me, and she closed her eyes, as I kissed her, with a shudder
of delight that was almost terror, on the lips. And then instantly I
let her go, and stood aghast at what I had done. And I stammered:
Forgive! for I did not know what I was doing.

And she shook her head, and said very gently: Nay, it is I myself who
am to blame: since I might have known that this would be the
inevitable end. But now, good-bye! for thou hast been here already far
too long. And then, she hesitated for an instant, looking at me as if
with pity; and she said with a smile: Thou must absolutely go, and yet
my heart is sorry for thee, for I understand, what going means, to
thee. Come, if thou wilt, I will allow thee, to bid me good-bye.

And as she held out her arms, looking at me with a smile, my reason
fled. And I caught her anyhow, with one arm round her waist, and the
other round her neck, turning round unawares, so that suddenly I found
her lying in my arms, gazing up into my eyes, with lips that trembled
as they smiled. And I drew a deep sigh, and then I kissed her in a
frenzy with a kiss that seemed as if it would never end.

And then, I almost threw her from me, with a cry. And I turned and
fled away, without looking back, and found, I know not how, the door,
and knocked, and it was opened; and I got, somehow or other, into the
street. And I went home like one walking in a dream, with feet that
found their way of their own accord.

X

And I threw myself on my bed, and lay, all night long, asleep or
awake, I know not which, but gazing with eyes that as it were shone
into the dark, and a heart burning with the fire of joy, and a soul
lost in the ecstasy of recollection, saying to myself without ceasing:
I have found her, I have found her: and the reality is sweeter far
even than the dream. And morning arrived, as it seemed, even before
night had begun, for time was lost altogether in the abyss of
reminiscence. And I rose up, and stood still, with my eyes fixed upon
the ground, going over every detail, and striving to recall every atom
of the meeting of the day before. And I said to myself: Ha! and fool
that I was, I very nearly missed her,