no mistake at all. She is
gone. And I said: Gone? Where? When? And she said: She went within
this hour, to visit her maternal uncle; for want, as I think, of
something better to do. And when she will return, I cannot say.

And then, my heart stopped. And I stood for a single instant, erect,
and I turned, as if to go away. And all at once, there came from the
very middle of my heart, a cry, that tore me as it were to pieces,
and I fell in the street like a dead man.

XXI

And when I came back to myself, I looked, and saw an old man with a
long white beard gazing at me with anxiety, sitting by my bed in which
I was lying, having been brought home I know not how as I lay in a
swoon. And when he saw me look at him, he began to rub his hands
together, with a little laugh. And he said: Ha! then, as it seems,
after all, thy soul has returned at last: and it was time. For it had
been away so long that I was beginning to doubt whether it had not
said good-bye to thy body, for good and all. And now it has come back
after all, by the favour of Ganapati, and the help of the Ayurweda,
and one of Dhanwantari's[30] most unworthy devotees. And I said
slowly: How long have I been dead? Then said that old physician: It is
now nearly sunset again, and thou hast lain there without moving ever
since they brought thee here from the street, about the time of
sunset, yesterday. And now what is it, that has struck thee down, as
if by a thunderbolt? For how can the physician cure, unless the
patient tells him of his case?

And I closed my eyes for a while, as if to rest: and after a while I
said: O father, there is nothing to tell, to one of thy experience and
skill: for since childhood, it happens to me, every now and then, to
fall down and lie in a trance: and when once I come back, all is over,
and I go on as before, till next time. And now there is nothing to be
done, but for me to reward thee for thy care, to which I owe my life.
And though it is a thing of little or no worth, I will count it, for
thy sake, as if it were a thing of price. And I gave that old man
gold, and sent him away delighted, for all I wanted was to be rid of
him as quickly as I could, lest I should fall into a fever and begin
to rave, and betray my secret against my will.

And then, for many days, I lay, living very slowly, like one in a long
dream, drinking water, and eating almost nothing, and going over in my
mind every detail of my life since first I saw th