ms of appy children
all round him and looking up to him so appy and so grateful, that, jest
afore it was time to go, he acshally told 'em a most wunderful story all
about two great Giants as lived in the rain of King LUD, on Ludgate Hill. I
was that estonished when he begun, as to amost think that GOG and MAGOG, as
stood on both sides of him, would begin to grin, but that was, of course,
only a passing delushun. But didn't all the children lissen with open
mouths when the Lord MARE told 'em that one of the Giants had too heads,
and the other three! and that a very good boy named JACK managed to kill
'em both!

And so all was ended but the cheering, and that the pore delited children
kept up till they all marched out, smiling and appy, and wishing as such
glorious heavenings was in store for them in grand old Gildall for many,
many years to come, and with sitch a Lord Mare to see as everything was
done as it had been done that jolly heavening.

ROBERT.

* * * * *

DWARFS.--Of course there are dwarfs. Lots of 'em all over the world. At
least no experienced traveller ever yet made a stay in any country without
becoming acquainted with plenty of people who were "uncommonly 'short' just
at that moment,"--"that moment" being when the impecunious traveller wanted
to obtain a slight loan. The author of _Borrow in Spain_ would have been an
authority on such a subject.

* * * * *

TRANSFORMATION SCENE.--Dear Sir, I see by the paper that "Mr. EDMUND YATES
has been made a J. P." Odd! What does "J. P." stand for? Oh, of course,
"JOE PARKINSON." But does "E. Y." on becoming "J. P." cease to be
"MOI-MEME"?--Yours, M. MUDDLE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A TOO INQUIRING MIND.

"HOW WAS _I_ MADE, MAMMIE DARLING? WAS I _KNITTED_?"]

* * * * *

THE LATEST TRADE OUTRAGE!

(_Scene from the New and Unpopular Sensation Drama of "The Monopoly-Monster
and the Maid Forlorn."_)

["A large number of complaints have reached the Board of Trade
with regard to increase in the new rates adopted by Railway
Companies as from January 1 ... among other complaints of increase
of rates for the conveyance of milk, grain, hay and other
agricultural produce, firewood, live stock, coal and coke, iron
and hardware."--Sir COURTENAY BOYLE _to the Secretary of the
Railway Companies Association_.]