enty years united to a shrew.
Released, he hopefully for entrance cries
Before the gates of Brahma's paradise.

"Hast thou been through purgatory?" Brahma said,
"No, but I've been married," and he hung his head.
"Come in, come in, and welcome too, my son,
Marriage and purgatory are as one."

In bliss extreme he entered heaven's door,
And knew the peace he ne'er had known before.
But scarce had he entered the garden fair,
When another Hindoo asked admission there.

The self-same question, Brahma asked,
"Hast thou been through purgatory?"
"No, what then?" "Thou canst not enter," did the God reply.
"Why, he that entered first was there no more than I."

"All that is true, but he has married been,
And so on earth, had suffered from all sin."
"Married, 'tis well, I've been married twice."
"Begone, we'll have no fools in Paradise."

IF I KNEW

ANONYMOUS

If I knew the box where the smiles are kept,
No matter how large the key,
Or strong the bolt, I would try so hard,
'Twould open, I know, for me.
Then over the land and sea broadcast,
I'd scatter the smiles to play,
That the children's faces might hold them fast
For many and many a day.

If I knew a box that was large enough
To hold all the frowns I meet,
I would like to gather them, every one,
From the nursery, school and street,
Then, holding and folding I'd pack them in,
And turning the monster key
I'd hire a giant to drop the box,
Into the depths of the sea.

THE IMAGINARY INVALID[70]

JEROME K. JEROME

I remember going to the British Museum one day to read up the treatment
for some slight ailment of which I had a touch--hay fever, I fancy it
was. I got down the book, and read all I came to read; and then, in an
unthinking moment, I idly turned the leaves, and began to indolently
study diseases generally. I forget which was the first distemper I
plunged into--some fearful, devastating scourge I know--and, before I
had glanced half down the list of "premonitory symptoms," it was borne
in upon me that I had fairly got it.

I sat for a while, frozen with horror; and then, in the listlessness of
despair, I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever--read
the symptoms--discovered that I had typhoid fever, must have had it for
months without knowing it--wondered