ied Nanny; "it's only _Watchmen_."

The Marquis of Granby having returned from the army in Germany, travelled
with all possible expedition from the English port at which he landed to
London, and finding on his arrival that the king was at Windsor, he
proceeded there in his travelling-dress; where desiring to be instantly
introduced to his majesty, a certain lord came forward, who said he hoped
the noble marquis did not mean to go into the presence of his majesty in so
improper a habit, adding, "'Pon my honour, my lord, you look more like a
_groom_ than a gentleman."--"Perhaps I may," replied the marquis, "and I
give you my word, if you do not introduce me to the king this instant, I
will _act_ like a groom, and _curry_ you in a way you won't like."

The Schoolmaster Abroad.--A young woman meeting her former fellow-servant,
was asked how she liked her place. "Very well."--"Then you have nothing to
complain of?"--"Nothing; only master and missis talk such very bad grammar,
and don't pronounce their H's."

A Soldier's Wife.--The late Duchess of York having desired her housekeeper
to seek out for a new laundress, a decent-looking woman was recommended to
the situation. "But, (said the housekeeper) I am afraid that she will not
suit your royal highness, as she is a soldier's wife, and these people are
generally loose characters." "What is that you say, said the duke, who had
just entered the room. A soldier's wife! Pray, madam, _what is your
mistress?_ If that is all her fault, I desire that the woman may be
immediately engaged."

SIGNS.

A Scotch Innkeeper, who had determined on adopting the sign of Flodden
Well, was much puzzled for a suitable inscription. At length he waited on
Sir Walter Scott, and asked his aid, observing, that "as he had written so
much about it in _Marmion_, he might know something that would do for an
inscription." The poet immediately replied, "Why, man, I think ye cannot do
better than take a verse from the poem itself." The innkeeper expressed his
willingness to do this, when Sir Walter said to him, "Well, then, you have
nothing to do, but just to leave out one letter from the line

'Drink, weary traveller--drink and pray;'

and say instead

'Drink, weary traveller--drink and pay!'"

Dean Swift's barber one day told him that he had taken a public-house. "And
what's your sign?" said the dean. "Oh, the pole and bason; and if your
worship would just write me a few lin