you can have no need
of anything but a purse to put it in."

POLITENESS.

A Polite Mayor.--At the time when Queen Elizabeth was making one of her
progresses through the kingdom, a mayor of Coventry, attended by a large
cavalcade, went out to meet her Majesty, and usher her into the city with
due formality. On their return they passed through a wide brook, when Mr.
Mayor's horse several times attempted to drink, and each time his worship
checked him; which the Queen observing, called out to him, "Mr. Mayor, let
your horse drink, Mr. Mayor;" but the magistrate, bowing very low, modestly
answered, "Nay, nay, may it please your Majesty's horse to drink first."

A French Mayor.--A mayor of a small village in France, having occasion to
give a passport to a distinguished personage in his neighbourhood who was
blind of one eye, was in great embarrassment on coming to the description
of his person. Fearful of offending the great man, he adopted the following
ingenious expedient of avoiding the mention of his deformity, and wrote
"Black eyes--one of which is absent."

Sir Wm. Gooch being engaged in conversation with a gentleman in a street of
the city of Williamsburgh, returned the salute of a negro, who was passing
by about his master's business. "Sir William," said the gentleman, "do you
descend so far as to salute a slave?"--"Why, yes," replied the governor; "I
cannot suffer a man of his condition to exceed me in good manners."

PRESENCE OF MIND.

The Marquis St. Andre applied to Louvois, the war-minister of Louis XIV.,
for a place then vacant. Louvois having received some complaints against
the marquis, refused to comply. The nobleman, somewhat nettled, said,
rather hastily, "If I were to enter again into the service, I know what I
would do."--"And pray what would you do?" inquired the minister in a
furious tone. St. Andre recollected himself, and had the presence of mind
to say, "I would take care to behave in such a manner, that your excellency
should have nothing to reproach me with." Louvois, agreeably surprised at
this reply, immediately granted his request.

Carving.--An accomplished gentleman, when carving a tough goose, had the
misfortune to send it entirely out of the dish, and into the lap of the
lady next to him; on which he very coolly looked her full in the face, and
with admirable gravity and calmness, said, "Madam, may I trouble you for
that goose." In a case like this, a person must