THE SPEAKERSHIP.

The Parliamentary _lucus a non lucendo_--the Speaker who never speaks--the
gentleman who always holds his own tongue, except when he wants others to
hold theirs--the man who fills the chair, which is about three times too
big for him--is not, after all, to be changed. But the incoming tenants of
office have resolved to take him as a fixture, though not at a fair
valuation; for they do nothing but find fault all the time they are
agreeing to let him remain on the premises. For our own part, we see no
objection to the arrangement; for Mr. Lefevre, we believe, shakes his head
as slowly and majestically as his predecessors, and rattles his teeth over
the _r_ in _o_R-_der_, with as much dignity as Sutton, who was the very
perfection of _Manners_, was accustomed to throw into it. The fatigues of
the office are enough to kill a horse, but asses are not easily
exterminated. It is thought that Lefevre has not been sufficiently worked,
and before giving him a pension, "the receiver must," as the chemist say,
"be quite exhausted." Tiring him out will not be enough; but he must be
_tired_ again, to entitled him to a _re-tiring_ allowance.

* * * * *

AN INQUIRY FROM DEAF BURKE, ESQ.

DEER SIR,--As I taks in your PUNCH (bein' in the line meself, mind yes),
will you tell me wot is the meeinigs of beein' "konvelessent." A chap
kalled me that name the other days, and I sined him as I does this.

Yours truly,
DEAF BURKE--

[Illustration: HIS MARK.]

* * * * *

THE MANSION-HOUSE PARROT.

There is something very amusing in witnessing the manner in which the
little Jacks in office imitate the great ones. Sir Peter Laurie has been
doing the ludicrous by imitating his political idol, Sir Robert. "I shan't
prescribe till I am state-doctor," says the baronet. "I shan't decide;
wait for the Lord Mayor," echoes the knight.

* * * * *

MATRIMONIAL AGENCY.

Lord John Russell begs respectfully to inform the connubially-disposed
portion of the community, that being about to retire from the establishment
in Downing-street, of which he has so long been a member, he has resolved
(at the suggestion of several single ladies _about_ thirty, and of numerous
juvenile gentlemen who have just attained their majority a _second time_)
to open a

MATRIMONIAL AGENCY OFFICE,

where (from his long and successful experienc