* *

EXTRAORDINARY ASSIZE INTELLIGENCE.

One of the morning papers gave its readers last week a piece of
extraordinary assize intelligence, headed--"_Cutting a wife's
throat--before Mr. Serjeant Taddy_" We advise the learned Serjeant to look
to this: 'tis a too serious joke to be set down as an accessary to the
cutting of a wife's throat.

* * * * *

A SPOKE IN S--Y'S WHEEL!

"For Ireland's weal!" hear turncoat S--y rave,
Who'd trust the _wheel_ that own'd so sad a _knave_?

* * * * *

ALARMING DESTITUTION.

In the parish of Llanelly, Breconshire, the males exceed the females by
more than one thousand. At Worcester, says the _Examiner_, the same
majority is in favour of the ladies. We should propose a conference and a
general swap of the sexes next market-day, as we understand there is not a
window in Worcester without a notice of "Lodgings to let for single men,"
whilst at Llanelly the gentlemen declare sweethearts can't be had for "love
nor money."

* * * * *

A NATURAL INFERENCE.

"There'll soon be rare work (cry the journals in fear),
When Peel is call'd in in _his_ regular way;"
True--for when we've to pay all the Tories, 'tis clear,
It is much the same thing as the _devil to pay_.

* * * * *

THE TORY TABLE D'HOTE--BILLY HOLMES (_loquitur_)

"Walk up, walk up, ladies and gentlemen, feeding is going to commence
Wellington and Peel are now giving their opening dinners to their friends
and admirers. All who want _places_ must come early. Walk up! walk
up!--This is the real constitutional tavern. Here we are! gratis feeding
for the greedy! Make way there for those hungry-looking gentlemen--walk up,
sir--leave your vote at the bar, and take a ticket for your hat."

* * * * *

BLACK AND WHITE.

The Tories vow the Whigs are black as night,
And boast that they are only blessed with light.
Peel's politics to both sides so incline,
His may be called the _equinoctial line_.

* * * * *

THE LEGAL ECCALOBEION.

Baron Campbell, who has sat altogether about 20 hours in the Irish
Court of Chancery, will receive 4,000l. a-year, on the death of either
Lord Manners or Lord Plunkett, (both octogenarians;) which, says the
_Dublin Monitor_, "taking the average of human life, he wi