iolent a fit of hysterics upon it, that
she was forced to lie down; and (being not recovered by it) to go to bed
about eight o'clock.

* See Letter LXXXIV. of this volume.

On Thursday morning she was up very early; and had recourse to the
Scriptures to calm her mind, as she told Mrs. Lovick: and, weak as she
was, would go in a chair to Lincoln's-inn chapel, about eleven. She was
brought home a little better; and then sat down to write to her uncle.
But was obliged to leave off several times--to struggle, as she told Mrs.
Lovick, for an humble temper. 'My heart, said she to the good woman, is
a proud heart, and not yet, I find, enough mortified to my condition;
but, do what I can, will be for prescribing resenting things to my pen.'

I arrived in town from Belton's this Thursday evening; and went directly
to Smith's. She was too ill to receive my visit. But, on sending up my
compliments, she sent me down word that she should be glad to see me in
the morning.

Mrs. Lovick obliged me with the copy of a meditation collected by the
lady from the Scriptures. She has entitled it Poor mortals the cause of
their own misery; so entitled, I presume, with intention to take off the
edge of her repinings at hardships so disproportioned to her fault, were
her fault even as great as she is inclined to think it. We may see, by
this, the method she takes to fortify her mind, and to which she owes, in
a great measure, the magnanimity with which she bears her undeserved
persecutions.

MEDITATION

POOR MORTALS THE CAUSE OF THEIR OWN MISERY.

Say not thou, it is through the Lord that I fell away; for thou oughtest
not to do the thing that he hateth.

Say not thou, he hath caused me to err; for he hath no need of the sinful
man.

He himself made man from the beginning, and left him in the hand of his
own counsel;

If thou wilt, to keep the commandments, and to perform acceptable
faithfulness.

He hath set fire and water before thee: stretch forth thine hand to
whither thou wilt.

He hath commanded no man to do wickedly: neither hath he given any man
license to sin.

And now, Lord, what is my hope? Truly my hope is only in thee.

Deliver me from all my offences: and make me not a rebuke unto the
foolish.

When thou with rebuke dost chasten man for sin, thou makest his beauty
to consume away, like as it were a moth fretting a garment: every man,
therefore, is vanity.

Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon