p me
secret, till thy wrath be past!

My face is foul with weeping; and on my eye-lid is the shadow of death.

My friends scorn me; but mine eye poureth out tears unto God.

A dreadful sound is in my ears; in prosperity the destroyer came upon me!

I have sinned! what shall I do unto thee, O thou Preserver of men! why
hast thou set me as a mark against thee; so that I am a burden to myself!

When I say my bed shall comfort me; my couch shall ease my complaint;

Then thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions.

So that my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than life.

I loath it! I would not live always!--Let me alone; for my days are
vanity!

He hath made me a bye-word of the people; and aforetime I was as a
tabret.

My days are past, my purposes are broken off, even the thoughts of my
heart.

When I looked for good, then evil came unto me; and when I waited for
light, then came darkness.

And where now is my hope?--

Yet all the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come.

LETTER LXXXV

MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO JOHN HARLOWE, ESQ.
THURSDAY, AUG. 10.

HONOURED SIR,

It was an act of charity I begged: only for a last blessing, that I might
die in peace. I ask not to be received again, as my severe sister [Oh!
that I had not written to her!] is pleased to say, is my view. Let that
grace be denied me when I do.

I could not look forward to my last scene with comfort, without seeking,
at least, to obtain the blessing I petitioned for; and that with a
contrition so deep, that I deserved not, were it known, to be turned over
from the tender nature of a mother, to the upbraiding pen of an uncle!
and to be wounded by a cruel question, put by him in a shocking manner:
and which a little, a very little time, will better answer than I can:
for I am not either a hardened or shameless creature: if I were, I should
not have been so solicitous to obtain the favour I sued for.

And permit me to say that I asked it as well for my father and mother's
sake, as for my own; for I am sure they at least will be uneasy, after I
am gone, that they refused it to me.

I should still be glad to have theirs, and your's, Sir, and all your
blessings, and your prayers: but, denied in such a manner, I will not
presume again to ask it: relying entirely on the Almighty's; which is
never denied, when supplicated for with such true penitence as I hope
mine is.

God preserve my