the worst, and to be able to make comparisons in these very
delicate situations, must she not be less delicate than I had imagined
her to be?--But she has head that the devil is black; and having a mind
to make one of me, brays together, in the mortar of her wild fancy,
twenty chimney-sweepers, in order to make one sootier than ordinary rise
out of the dirty mass.

But what a whirlwind does she raise in my soul by her proud contempts of
me! Never, never, was mortal man's pride so mortified! How does she
sink me, even in my own eyes!--'Her heart sincerely repulses me, she
says, for my MEANNESS!'--Yet she intends to reap the benefit of what she
calls so!--Curse upon her haughtiness, and her meanness, at the same
time!--Her haughtiness to me, and her meanness to her own relations; more
unworthy of kindred with her, than I can be, or I am mean indeed.

Yet who but must admire, who but must adore her; Oh! that cursed, cursed
house! But for the women of that!--Then their d----d potions! But for
those, had her unimpaired intellects, and the majesty of her virtue,
saved her, as once it did by her humble eloquence,* another time by her
terrifying menaces against her own life.**

* In the fire-scene, Vol. V. Letter XVI.
** Vol. VI. Letter XXXVI. in the pen-knife-scene.

Yet in both these to find her power over me, and my love for her, and to
hate, to despise, and to refuse me!--She might have done this with some
show of justice, had the last-intended violation been perpetrated:--but
to go away conqueress and triumphant in every light!--Well may she
despise me for suffering her to do so.

She left me low and mean indeed!--And the impression holds with her.--I
could tear my flesh, that I gave her not cause--that I humbled her not
indeed;--or that I staid not in town to attend her motions instead of
Lord M.'s, till I could have exalted myself, by giving to myself a wife
superior to all trial, to all temptation.

I will venture one more letter to her, however; and if that don't do, or
procure me an answer, then will I endeavour to see her, let what will be
the consequence. If she get out of my way, I will do some noble mischief
to the vixen girl whom she most loves, and then quit the kingdom for
ever.

And now, Jack, since thy hand is in at communicating the contents of
private letters, tell her this, if thou wilt. And add to it, That if SHE
abandon me, GOD will: and what then will be the fate of

Her
LOVELACE.