would like to tell
him of those years."

I nodded and he advanced upon me with the brush. He spoke of the retreat
to Paris and the strategy of JOFFRE which so nearly overthrew three
Prussian armies. He brandished his razor and swept the Boches back over
the Marne, he swept them through Senlis, he swept them across the Aisne.
His intensity was inspiring. The smouldering fires of bygone battles
leapt into his eyes. But it was not the mesmeric shave of 1914. He
apologised humbly and applied small pieces of plaster.

The next morning we fought a swaying battle in front of Rheims, and for
some few following mornings we skirmished about painlessly in the same
vicinity. Then came a sanguinary excursion to Flanders which nearly put
me into blue overalls.

A few weeks of trench warfare gave me some respite and allowed my worst
wounds to heal.

Then came the epic of Verdun. At least it was to have come, but at the
last moment I lost my nerve.

To hear the story of that heroic defence from the lips of one who was
concerned so intimately with it is one of my greatest desires. But I am
a coward. I cannot face the extravaganza that Alphonse would improvise,
neither dare I approach him for a mere haircut and so confess to having
deserted his other form of artistry.

Yesterday I purchased a safety-razor and a packet of new blades.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mary (stricken with remorse as minnow approaches her
hook)._ "OH! OH! OH! I DON'T WANT TO CATCH IT; ITS MUMMY WOULD MISS IT
SO."]

* * * * *

A LITTLE SUPPER WITH THE BORGIAS.

"FRUIT SALAD.

"Make some syrup by boiling three-quarters of a pint of water, 1/2
lb. of castor sugar, and the juice from a tinned pineapple. Lay the
pineapple in a glass bowl cut in small slices."--_Weekly Paper_.

* * * * *

ART IN THE ARCTIC.

To know that you can't draw and to be told so by your friends are two
very different things. Honnell can't draw, but hates his inseparable
Swan to tell him so. Honnell's sketches have hitherto been criticised
only by people who also wanted their drawing flattered. Swan learned
bluntness on the Yukon. So they are an odd pair to be chumming now in
the Arctic circle. They are so friendly that they will tramp together
for half a day and exchange scarcely so much as a grunt of conversation.

Swan, of course, feels quite at home in North Russia