in Paris."

"Wait," quoth the little Dutchman, with his mouth full of jelly broth,
"wait till you hear them talk. What think you, now, that lady next me is
saying?"

"I cannot guess: but she has the prettiest smile in the world; and there
is something at once so kind and so respectful in her manner that I
should say she was either asking some great favour, or returning thanks
for one."

"Right," cried the little Minister, "I will interpret for you. She is
saying to that old gentleman, 'Sir, I am extremely grateful--and may
Saint Nicholas bless you for it--for your very great kindness in having,
the day before yesterday, at your sumptuous entertainment, made me so
deliciously--drunk!'"

"You are witty, Monsieur," said I, smiling. "_Se non e vero e ben
trovato_."

"By my soul, it is true," cried the Dutchman; "but, hush!--see, they are
going to cut up that great pie."

I turned my eyes to the centre of the table, which was ornamented with a
huge pasty. Presently it was cut open, and out--walked a hideous little
dwarf.

"Are they going to eat him?" said I.

"Ha! ha!" laughed the Dutchman. "No! this is a fashion of the Czar's,
which the Admiral thinks it good policy to follow. See, it tickles the
hebete Russians. They are quite merry on it."

"To be sure," said I; "practical jokes are the only witticisms savages
understand."

"Ay, and if it were not for such jokes now and then, the Czar would
be odious beyond measure; but dwarf pies and mock processions make
his subjects almost forgive him for having shortened their clothes and
clipped their beards."

"The Czar is very fond of those mock processions?"

"Fond!" and the little man sank his voice into a whisper; "he is the
sublimest buffoon that ever existed. I will tell you an instance--Do you
like these Hungary wines, by the by?--On the 9th of last June, the
Czar carried me, and half-a-dozen more of the foreign ministers, to his
pleasure-house (Peterhoff). Dinner, as usual, all drunk with Tokay, and
finished by a quart of brandy each, from her Majesty's own hand. Carried
off to sleep,--some in the garden, some in the wood. Woke at four, still
in the clouds. Carried back to the pleasure-house, found the Czar there,
made us a low bow, and gave us a hatchet apiece, with orders to follow
him. Off we trudged, rolling about like ships in the Zuyder Zee, entered
a wood, and were immediately set to work at cutting a road through it.
Nice work for us of the _corps