ith my sad story. And so, after I had dried
my eyes, I went in, and began to ruminate with myself what I had best to
do. Sometimes I thought I would leave the house and go to the next
town, and wait an opportunity to get to you; but then I was at a loss to
resolve whether to take away the things he had given me or no, and how
to take them away: Sometimes I thought to leave them behind me, and only
go with the clothes on my back, but then I had two miles and a half,
and a byway, to the town; and being pretty well dressed, I might come to
some harm, almost as bad as what I would run away from; and then may-be,
thought I, it will be reported, I have stolen something, and so was
forced to run away; and to carry a bad name back with me to my dear
parents, would be a sad thing indeed!--O how I wished for my grey russet
again, and my poor honest dress, with which you fitted me out, (and hard
enough too it was for you to do it!) for going to this place, when I
was not twelve years old, in my good lady's days! Sometimes I thought of
telling Mrs. Jervis, and taking her advice, and only feared his command
to be secret; for, thought I, he may be ashamed of his actions, and
never attempt the like again: And as poor Mrs. Jervis depended upon him,
through misfortunes, that had attended her, I thought it would be a sad
thing to bring his displeasure upon her for my sake.

In this quandary, now considering, now crying, and not knowing what to
do, I passed the time in my chamber till evening; when desiring to be
excused going to supper, Mrs. Jervis came up to me, and said, Why must I
sup without you, Pamela? Come, I see you are troubled at something; tell
me what is the matter.

I begged I might be permitted to be with her on nights; for I was afraid
of spirits, and they would not hurt such a good person as she. That
was a silly excuse, she said; for why was not you afraid of spirits
before?--(Indeed I did not think of that.) But you shall be my
bed-fellow with all my heart, added she, let your reason be what it
will; only come down to supper. I begged to be excused; for, said I,
I have been crying so, that it will be taken notice of by my
fellow-servants; and I will hide nothing from you, Mrs. Jervis, when we
are alone.

She was so good to indulge me; but made haste to come up to bed; and
told the servants, that I should be with her, because she could not
rest well, and would get me to read her to sleep; for she knew I loved
reading,