eet duty of a mother
have been so cruelly interrupted.

"But I must not suffer the fortitude I have so hardly acquired, to be
undermined by unavailing regret. Let me hasten forward to describe the
turbid stream in which I had to wade--but let me exultingly declare
that it is passed--my soul holds fellowship with him no more. He cut
the Gordian knot, which my principles, mistaken ones, respected; he
dissolved the tie, the fetters rather, that ate into my very vitals--and
I should rejoice, conscious that my mind is freed, though confined in
hell itself, the only place that even fancy can imagine more dreadful
than my present abode.

"These varying emotions will not allow me to proceed. I heave sigh after
sigh; yet my heart is still oppressed. For what am I reserved? Why was I
not born a man, or why was I born at all?"

CHAPTER 9

"I RESUME my pen to fly from thought. I was married; and we hastened to
London. I had purposed taking one of my sisters with me; for a strong
motive for marrying, was the desire of having a home at which I could
receive them, now their own grew so uncomfortable, as not to deserve the
cheering appellation. An objection was made to her accompanying me,
that appeared plausible; and I reluctantly acquiesced. I was however
willingly allowed to take with me Molly, poor Peggy's daughter. London
and preferment, are ideas commonly associated in the country; and, as
blooming as May, she bade adieu to Peggy with weeping eyes. I did not
even feel hurt at the refusal in relation to my sister, till hearing
what my uncle had done for me, I had the simplicity to request, speaking
with warmth of their situation, that he would give them a thousand
pounds a-piece, which seemed to me but justice. He asked me, giving me
a kiss, 'If I had lost my senses?' I started back, as if I had found
a wasp in a rose-bush. I expostulated. He sneered: and the demon of
discord entered our paradise, to poison with his pestiferous breath
every opening joy.

"I had sometimes observed defects in my husband's understanding; but,
led astray by a prevailing opinion, that goodness of disposition is of
the first importance in the relative situations of life, in proportion
as I perceived the narrowness of his understanding, fancy enlarged the
boundary of his heart. Fatal error! How quickly is the so much vaunted
milkiness of nature turned into gall, by an intercourse with the world,
if more generous juices do not sustain the