turned at a late hour,
drunk, to bed. I retired to another apartment; I was glad, I own, to
escape from his; for personal intimacy without affection, seemed, to me
the most degrading, as well as the most painful state in which a
woman of any taste, not to speak of the peculiar delicacy of fostered
sensibility, could be placed. But my husband's fondness for women was of
the grossest kind, and imagination was so wholly out of the question, as
to render his indulgences of this sort entirely promiscuous, and of the
most brutal nature. My health suffered, before my heart was entirely
estranged by the loathsome information; could I then have returned to
his sullied arms, but as a victim to the prejudices of mankind, who have
made women the property of their husbands? I discovered even, by his
conversation, when intoxicated that his favourites were wantons of the
lowest class, who could by their vulgar, indecent mirth, which he called
nature, rouse his sluggish spirits. Meretricious ornaments and manners
were necessary to attract his attention. He seldom looked twice at a
modest woman, and sat silent in their company; and the charms of youth
and beauty had not the slightest effect on his senses, unless the
possessors were initiated in vice. His intimacy with profligate women,
and his habits of thinking, gave him a contempt for female endowments;
and he would repeat, when wine had loosed his tongue, most of the
common-place sarcasms levelled at them, by men who do not allow them to
have minds, because mind would be an impediment to gross enjoyment.
Men who are inferior to their fellow men, are always most anxious to
establish their superiority over women. But where are these reflections
leading me?

"Women who have lost their husband's affection, are justly reproved for
neglecting their persons, and not taking the same pains to keep, as to
gain a heart; but who thinks of giving the same advice to men, though
women are continually stigmatized for being attached to fops; and from
the nature of their education, are more susceptible of disgust? Yet why
a woman should be expected to endure a sloven, with more patience than
a man, and magnanimously to govern herself, I cannot conceive; unless
it be supposed arrogant in her to look for respect as well as a
maintenance. It is not easy to be pleased, because, after promising to
love, in different circumstances, we are told that it is our duty.
I cannot, I am sure (though, when attending