hey, indeed, became more dear to me as they became
more forlorn; for, during my mother's illness, I discovered the ruined
state of my father's circumstances, and that he had only been able to
keep up appearances, by the sums which he borrowed of my uncle.

"My father's grief, and consequent tenderness to his children, quickly
abated, the house grew still more gloomy or riotous; and my refuge from
care was again at Mr. Venables'; the young 'squire having taken his
father's place, and allowing, for the present, his sister to preside at
his table. George, though dissatisfied with his portion of the fortune,
which had till lately been all in trade, visited the family as usual.
He was now full of speculations in trade, and his brow became clouded by
care. He seemed to relax in his attention to me, when the presence of
my uncle gave a new turn to his behaviour. I was too unsuspecting, too
disinterested, to trace these changes to their source.

"My home every day became more and more disagreeable to me; my liberty
was unnecessarily abridged, and my books, on the pretext that they made
me idle, taken from me. My father's mistress was with child, and he,
doating on her, allowed or overlooked her vulgar manner of tyrannizing
over us. I was indignant, especially when I saw her endeavouring to
attract, shall I say seduce? my younger brother. By allowing women but
one way of rising in the world, the fostering the libertinism of men,
society makes monsters of them, and then their ignoble vices are brought
forward as a proof of inferiority of intellect.

"The wearisomeness of my situation can scarcely be described. Though
my life had not passed in the most even tenour with my mother, it was
paradise to that I was destined to endure with my father's mistress,
jealous of her illegitimate authority. My father's former occasional
tenderness, in spite of his violence of temper, had been soothing to
me; but now he only met me with reproofs or portentous frowns. The
house-keeper, as she was now termed, was the vulgar despot of the
family; and assuming the new character of a fine lady, she could never
forgive the contempt which was sometimes visible in my countenance, when
she uttered with pomposity her bad English, or affected to be well bred.

"To my uncle I ventured to open my heart; and he, with his wonted
benevolence, began to consider in what manner he could extricate me out
of my present irksome situation. In spite of his own disappo