fingers;
"wasn't it clever of me?"

We had a very good lunch, the _poulet a la Portugaise_ of ADOLPHE being
particularly worthy of a second helping. After this meal was over, I
went to the Rev. BANG MCSAXPENCE, and taking him by the arm, observed,
"I really think you ought to give up this sort of life. You see you owe
a duty to your wife and daughter--especially the latter, who, if she
does not receive any education, and only mixes with bloodthirsty
cannibals, may grow up wild, shunning her kind."

"You are right, SLAUGHTERMAN," replied the Minister, straightening his
carving-knife, which since the night before had severed many a human
rib. "I made up my mind to it this very morning, just before I began my
hacking and slaying. I won't risk another fight, but leave it to a
younger Clergyman. And besides, between you and me, I am well off. It is
thirty thousand pounds I am worth to-day, and every farthing of it made
by honest trade, and savings in the bank at Zanzibar--for living costs
me here next to nothing."

"You are right."

"I am sure of it," answered the Clergyman. "I will turn my back upon
this place in a month. But it will be a wrench--it will be a wrench."[B]

CHAPTER III.--WATER ON THE BRAIN.

We left the Rev. BANG MCSAXPENCE (whose successor, by the way, was
killed and eaten six weeks later), taking with us the little ADOLPHE (a
most invaluable butt for our buffooneries), and voyaged into the
Unknown. We got into a boat, and throwing overboard some niggers to pick
up dead swans, they were immediately (much to our amusement) drowned.
This made us think, and we came to the conclusion that they must have
been carried to death by a current. In a moment our canoe began to fly
along as if seized with a mighty hand, and we were in a tunnel. The
water hurried us along, and we had scarcely time to notice that we were
passing now "Baker Street Station," now "Portland Road," now "King's
Cross," when we were close to a gigantic lily of fire that nearly
roasted us. We passed, got to some rocks, and were trying to get a cab,
or at least a fly, when we suddenly came across a number of spiders.
They were dreadful creatures. They foamed at the mouth, screamed at one
another, and devoured their invalid relations.

Here I should like to pause to write something _really_ terrible about
these spiders, but must hurry on, as there is still a deal of killing to
be done before I get to the end of my narrative. Enough to say I