offer of marriage? The first leads to the
Matrimonial Knot; the second is the Matrimonial Not.

* * * * *

"Bon Voyage!"

MR. CAINE, who is tired Party knots of unravelling,
Is off, so 'tis said, round the world to be travelling.
Let's hope that much clearing of temper and brain
May result from this new sort of "Wanderings of CAIN(E)".

* * * * *

[Illustration: IN THE CAUSE OF ART.

_Patron._ "WHEN ARE YER GOIN' TO START MY WIFE'S PICTURE AND MINE?
'CAUSE, WHEN THE 'OUSE IS UP WE'RE A GOIN'----"

_Artist._ "OH, I'LL GET THE CANVASES AT ONCE, AND----"

_Patron (millionnaire)._ "CANVAS! 'ANG IT!--NONE O' YER CANVAS FOR ME!
PRICE IS NO OBJEC'! I CAN AFFORD TO PAY FOR SOMETHING BETTER THAN
CANVAS!!" [_Tableau!_]]

* * * * *

THE ARTIST'S HOLIDAY;

OR, A BRUSH WITH THE POLICE.

_Start for Isle of Wight._--Market for Pictures so depressed, can only
afford a fortnight away from Town this Summer. Never mind! Intend to
have a high old time while it lasts. Shall travel over the whole
Island--Cowes, Ryde, Ventnor, Shanklin, Alum Bay, and the Needles.
Travelling suggests that I'm my own "traveller"--in the Oil and Colour
line! Mustn't mention this joke to my aristocratic customers, however.

_On the Way Down._--Read in my favourite newspaper--"Art is a fanciful
and captious mistress, exacting many sacrifices from her servants, and
not infrequently putting them to considerable inconvenience." Sounds
unpleasant. Wish people wouldn't write like this. True, perhaps, but not
edifying. Writer goes on to say of Artists that "Respectability is
arrayed in arms against them, because their ways are not as those of its
smug and unimaginative votaries." (Rather a good hit that--"smug and
unimaginative;"--writer not such a fool as I thought.) "Mrs. GRUNDY
sniffs at them with righteous scorn, because their appearance, bearing,
and habits, are not measurable by the standards of propriety." (I should
hope not, indeed!) "The subaltern administrators of the law regard them
with suspicion"--Humbug! Throw paper down in disgust. Never been
interfered with by a policeman in my life. What is there in _me_ to
excite suspicion, I should like to know? Should write to Author of that
article, and tell him he's an ass, only can't afford to waste a stamp
just now.

_Southampton._--Go on board boat for Ryde. Curious. Three men following
me