ems like I've seen Those yer
featurs afore!

[_Hand to chin, dubiously._

A mistake? (_Roughly._) Well then, _you_ hold yer hosses, and don't
interrup' me no more!

(_The Sandwich-man here makes another attempt to escape_; _you put
out two detaining fingers._)

Come, you ain't going yet? (_Heartily._) H'yur, you lem me run on!
Why, we've on'y jest met--And you want to be gone!
I must hev _some_ critter, I tell ye, to practise chin-music upon!
No, theer don't seem a doubt--He is cock of the school;
And the stuffing's knocked out Of your IRVING and TOOLE!

[_Outburst of rapturous exultation._

Jest, to think o' JOPP busting up BARRETT!--thar, call me a
soft-hearted fool!

(_Second emotional display; half turn, and use your handkerchief
with ostentation; the Sandwich-man is also affected, which you
observe with some surprise._)

Why, you _air_ lookin' queer! Derned ef _I_ kin see why!
Sho! you thought 'twas a _tear_ As I've got in my eye?

[_Rough shame at your own weakness._

No, _I_ don't take no stock in hydraulics--it's on'y a dod-gasted fly!

[_Resume with a proud anticipation._

He'll be chipper an' smart.--But, fur all he has riz,
He will open his heart _And_ a bottle of fizz
Right away when he sees me! (_Here you seem to detect a lurking doubt
in the Sandwich-man's eye._) Hightoned, Sir? You'd better believe
that he _is_!
_I_ ain't feared o' no change: JOPP'll be jest as _true_!

[_Stop abruptly, and stare glassily._

(_In a husky whisper._) Blame my cats--but it's strange!
(_Take a step backwards._) What in thunder!... JOPP it's--YOU!!!

[_With a shout._

(_Crestfallen tone._) So ye're not _on_ the boards, but between 'em!
(_Change to hasty and somewhat confused apology._) ... Ye'll excuse
me--I've suthin' to do!

[_Go off hurriedly, with air of a man recollecting an appointment._

It is hardly necessary to advise you that the effect you should aim at
is the securing of your audience's sympathy for _yourself_--as the
victim of such an unfortunate mistake--don't let them trouble themselves
about the unseen Sandwich-man.

* * * * *

DR. TANNER'S RECONCILIATORY COUPLET.

THIS the burden of my song--
Love me little, love me, LONG!

* * * * *

DUMB CRAMBO'S SCHOOL-BOOK REVIEW.

THE following book, advertised in