usehold? Will the Prince's cab-hire, on the occasion of his attending
Official banquets, be forthcoming from the same source?

Will the National party raise any objection to the Prince counting five
Russian Generals among the members of his Cabinet, as a slight means of
securing the amiable consideration of the CZAR?

In the event of a sudden night _emeute_ threatening the stability of the
throne, would it be the business of the Prime Minister to arouse the
Prince, bring him his boots and shaving-water, and, providing him with a
trick-wig and comic disguise, point out to him briefly in a local
_Bradshaw_ the best available trains starting before dawn for the
frontier?

Finally, if the Prince consented to accept the throne, and hired his
crown and coronation-robes from a well-known costumier's for the
occasion, would the great Sobranje defray the cost, or, if with a view
to the situation being a permanency, he could secure them at the price
of second-hand goods, would they be prepared to come to some arrangement
for their purchase?

* * * * *

A GROWING INDUSTRY.--Market-Gardening.

* * * * *

[Illustration: PRODDING THEM ON.

_Times (loquitur--to S-l-sb-ry and B-lf-r)._ "NOW THEN, WHAT ARE YOU
AFRAID OF? YOU'VE GOT YOUR WEAPON; USE IT, OR, IF YOU DON'T, YOU'LL
CATCH IT FROM ME!"]

* * * * *

AN EPITAPH

TO THE MEMORY OF
THE EGYPTIAN CONVENTION.
IT WAS AN ILL-STARRED INSTRUMENT,
CONCEIVED IN DOUBT, MATURED IN PERPLEXITY,
AND
COMPLETED IN CONSTERNATION,
IT WAS ULTIMATELY DRAFTED WITH THE IMMEDIATE BUT
AMUSING EFFECT OF
SENDING THE DUC DE MONTEBELLO INTO HYSTERICS,
CAUSING AN ICY INDIFFERENCE ON THE PART OF M. NELIDOFF,
AND
INDUCING THE SULTAN TO SING
ONCE AND FOR ALL STRAIGHT OFF
AN ENTIRE ENCORE VERSE OF
"OH! WHAT A SURPRISE!"
THUS
HAPPILY AT ONE AND THE SAME TIME
HAVING FULFILLED THE TRIPLE PURPOSE
OF
RAISING THE PASSING SMILE OF DIPLOMATIC EUROPE,
THROWING SIR H. DRUMMOND WOLFF INTO A CONDITION OF
"ANIMATED EXPECTANCY,"
AND
COSTING THE BRITISH TAX-PAYER L28,000 STERLING,
TO THE PERMANENT ASTONISHMENT OF ITS AUTHOR,
THE SMOTHERED SATISFACTION OF THE SUBLIME PORTE,
AND THE GENERAL REJOICING OF THE EGYPTIAN BOND-HOLDER,
IT RETURNED AT LENGTH TO THIS COUNTRY,
UNCRUMPLED, BUT UNSIGNED,
TO BE RELEGATED COMICALLY, BUT EFFECTUALLY,
TO A WASTE-PA