"A Lady of professed Virtue, of the Parish of St. _James's
Westminster_, who hath desired her Name may be concealed, having taken
Offence at a Phrase of double Meaning in Conversation, undiscovered by
any other in the Company, suddenly fell into a cold Fit of Modesty.
Upon a right Application of Praise of her Virtue, I threw the Lady
into an agreeable waking Dream, settled the Fermentation of her Blood
into a warm Charity, so as to make her look with Patience on the very
Gentleman that offended.
"_HILARIA_, of the Parish of St. _Giles's in the Fields_, a Coquet of
long Practice, was by the Reprimand of an old Maiden reduced to look
grave in Company, and deny her self the Play of the Fan. In short, she
was brought to such Melancholy Circumstances, that she would sometimes
unawares fall into Devotion at Church. I advis'd her to take a few
_innocent Freedoms with occasional Kisses_, prescribed her the
_Exercise of the Eyes_, and immediately raised her to her former State
of Life. She on a sudden recovered her Dimples, furled her Fan, threw
round her Glances, and for these two _Sundays_ last past has not once
been seen in an attentive Posture. This the Church-Wardens are ready
to attest upon Oath.
"_ANDREW TERROR_, of the _Middle-Temple, Mohock_, was almost induced
by an aged Bencher of the same House to leave off bright Conversation,
and pore over _Cook upon Littleton_. He was so ill that his Hat began
to flap, and he was seen one Day in the last Term at _Westminster-Hall_.
This Patient had quite lost his Spirit of Contradiction; I, by the
Distillation of a few of my vivifying Drops in his Ear, drew him from
his Lethargy, and restored him to his usual vivacious Misunderstanding.
He is at present very easie in his Condition.
"I will not dwell upon the Recital of the innumerable Cures I have
performed within Twenty Days last past; but rather proceed to exhort
all Persons, of whatever Age, Complexion or Quality, to take as soon
as possible of this my intellectual Oyl; which applied at the Ear
seizes all the Senses with a most agreeable Transport, and discovers
its Effects, not only to the Satisfaction of the Patient, but all who
converse with, attend upon, or any way relate to him or her that
receives the kindly Infection. It is often administered by
Chamber-Maids, Valets, or any the most ignorant Domestick; it being
one peculiar Excellence of this my Oyl, that 'tis most prevalent, the
more unskilful the Person is or
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