dressed in brown, I thought was such a
restraint upon my liberty, that I absolutely rejected the proposal. A
priest in England is not the same mortified creature with a bonze in
China; with us, not he that fasts best, but eats best, is reckoned the
best liver; yet I rejected a life of luxury, indolence, and ease, from
no other consideration but that boyish one of dress. So that my
friends were now perfectly satisfied I was undone; and yet they
thought it a pity for one who had not the least harm in him, and was
so very good-natured.

"Poverty naturally begets dependance, and I was admitted as flatterer
to a great man. At first I was surprised, that the situation of a
flatterer at a great man's table could be thought disagreeable; there
was no great trouble in listening attentively when his lordship spoke,
and laughing when he looked round for applause. This even good manners
might have obliged me to perform. I found, however, too soon, that his
lordship was a greater dunce than myself; and from that very moment
flattery was at an end. I now rather aimed at setting him right, than
at receiving his absurdities with submission: to flatter those we do
not know is an easy task; but to flatter our intimate acquaintances,
all whose foibles are strongly in our eye, is drudgery insupportable.
Every time I now opened my lips in praise, my falsehood went to my
conscience; his lordship soon perceived me to be very unfit for
service: I was, therefore, discharged: my patron at the same time
being graciously pleased to observe, that he believed I was tolerably
good-natured, and had not the least harm in me.

"Disappointed in ambition, I had recourse to love. A young lady, who
lived with her aunt, and was possessed of a pretty fortune in her own
disposal, had given me, as I fancied, some reason to expect success.
The symptoms by which I was guided were striking. She had always
laughed with me at her awkward acquaintance, and at her aunt among the
number; she always observed, that a man of sense would make a better
husband than a fool; and I as constantly applied the observation in my
own favour, she continually talked, in my company, of friendship and
the beauties of the mind, and spoke of Mr. Shrimp, my rival's
high-heeled shoes, with detestation. These were circumstances which I
thought strongly in my favour; so, after resolving and re-resolving, I
had courage enough to tell her my mind. Miss heard my proposal with
serenity, seemi