y I took a stroll,
as I had done in the old days, from Fiftieth street, down Fifth Avenue
and Broadway to Union Square. I met a few acquaintances who stared at me
slightly, but did not act in the least impressed. The women merely
glanced up and glanced away again. What was the matter? I went home and
took a long survey of myself in the mirror, a cheval glass that showed
me from crown to toe. My costume was perfect. There was not a wrinkle in
my face--this was several years ago, remember. There was not a gray hair
in my head then--there are a few now, I admit. 'What is it?' I asked
myself a hundred times as I stood there, studying out the cursed
problem. My tie was all right, my shirt front of the latest cut, my
watch chain straight from Tiffany's, my--ah! I saw it all in a moment!"

Roseleaf, who did not see it even yet, wore such an astonished
expression that Mr. Weil had to stuff his napkin into his mouth to
prevent an explosion.

"It was this devilish abdomen!" said Mr. Boggs, slapping that portion of
his frame as if he had a special grudge against it and would be glad if
he could hit it hard enough to bring it to a realizing sense of its
turpitude. "My figure had gone to the devil! It was not as large as it
is now, but it was large enough to cook my gruel. My waist had increased
so gradually that I had never noticed it. I got a tape and took its
measure. Forty-two inches, sir! The jig was up. With a heart as young as
ever, with a face as good and a purse able to supply all reasonable
demands, I was knocked out of the race on the first round by this
adipose tissue that no ingenuity could hope to conceal!"

Mr. Weil could wait no longer. His musical laugh rang out over the room.

"Let this be a warning to you, Shirley," he said, "to wear corsets."

"It is no joke," was the indignant comment of Mr. Walker Boggs, as he
proceeded to add to his rotundity by devouring the hearty breakfast that
the waiter had just brought him. "I am left like a marooned sailor on
the sea of life. The only occupation that could have entertained me is
gone. It is no time to enter business again, I couldn't have selected a
wiser one to leave it. I don't want to marry, once was enough of that.
The only women I can attract are those commercially inclined females
that any other man could have as well as I. What is the result? My life
is ruined. I take no pleasure in anything. I eat, walk about, go to a
play, sleep. A _pig_ could do as much; a