ferred to simplifyin' the spellin'
of our language," he said.

"A glorious exercise?" I repeated vaguely.

"Fo' the imagination, suh. Turn yore eye whah you will, you'll see words
that need refawmin', words that need our help, words that cry an' clamuh
to be relieved of the stigma of their congested and nonsensical
appearance; nouns, adjectives, verbs, all stuck in the hopeless mud of
antiquity, an' holdin' out their hands for we-all to drag 'em out an'
bring 'em up to date." He now gave me a list. "Look, suh, at those
pore, sufferin', aged cripples, awaitin' the renewal of their youth."

"You have a magnificent collection," I remarked to him, after a glance
at the list.

"Pshaw!" he returned. "I could double that in an hour. I just jotted
that down as I came up the valley from Paw-paw in the Chattanooga
Limited. Why, just lookin' out of the cyah windo' would give me notions.
I saw a thistle. Down she went on the list, an' down went whistle next
her, suggested by our locomotive. Thistle. Whistle. Look at those
disgraces. Look at the dead wood in 'em. Are not they just congested
all up with pitfalls for the young? Once we get to work at Arkansopolis,
and they'll be thissl and wissl, or my name is not Jesse Willows."

He paused, and I looked at his list again. The railway journey had given
him a number of suggestions; I saw, in hasty writing:--

Freight. That's dopy. Should be frate.
Bridge. Another has-been. Brij.

My perusal was interrupted by his seizing the list away from me. "The
po'tuh has turned the gas higher," he said. "That gives me another whole
big line of 'em." And he wrote:--

Light should be lite. So also fight, and tight and others on the
same plan.

"Po'tuh!" he called out, "what is yore name?"

"Michael, Colonel," the man answered.

"Another!" exclaimed the professor. And he wrote:--

Michael, Mycle, because cycle.
Bicicle because icicle.

I kept various doubts to myself, and resolved that such must continue my
policy if I were ever to have peace; but, no matter how I might agree to
spell bicycle, I was secretly determined never to address my younger
brother as Mycle. Imagine thus mutilating a name that had been in our
family for generations!

Professor Willows showed his list to Miss Appleby; I saw him, and I saw
her evidently add some words to it. But, to my surprise, this seemed to
cause them mirth. They did not seek my company, and conversed together
w