have precedence of
subordinates; age and feebleness, of youth and strength; and the feebler
sex, of more vigorous man.[M]

There is, also, a style of deportment and address, which is appropriate
to these different relations. It is suitable for a superior to secure
compliance with his wishes, from those subordinate to him, by commands;
but a subordinate must secure compliance with his wishes, from a
superior, by requests. It is suitable for a parent, teacher, or
employer, to admonish for neglect of duty; but not for an inferior to
adopt such a course towards a superior. It is suitable for a superior to
take precedence of a subordinate, without any remark; but not for an
inferior, without previously asking leave, or offering an apology. It is
proper for a superior to use language and manners of freedom and
familiarity, which would be improper from a subordinate to a superior.

The want of due regard to these proprieties, occasions the chief defect
in American manners. It is very common to hear children talk to their
parents, in a style proper only between companions and equals; so, also,
the young address their elders, those employed, their employers, and
domestics, the members of the family and their visiters, in a style,
which is inappropriate to their relative positions. A respectful address
is required not merely towards superiors; every person desires to be
treated with courtesy and respect, and therefore, the law of benevolence
demands such demeanor, towards all whom we meet in the social
intercourse of life. "Be ye courteous," is the direction of the Apostle
in reference to our treatment of _all_.

Good-manners can be successfully cultivated, only in early life, and in
the domestic circle. There is nothing which depends so much upon
_habit_, as the constantly recurring proprieties of good-breeding; and,
if a child grows up without forming such habits, it is very rarely the
case that they can be formed at a later period. The feeling, that it is
of little consequence how we behave at home, if we conduct properly
abroad, is a very fallacious one. Persons, who are careless and ill bred
at home, may imagine that they can assume good-manners abroad; but they
mistake. Fixed habits of tone, manner, language, and movements, cannot
be suddenly altered; and those who are illbred at home, even when they
try to hide their bad habits, are sure to violate many of the obvious
rules of propriety, and yet be unconscious of it.