ble to write it to
thee.

"Had it been the good pleasure of Him who disposes of our lots, and
thou no sufferer by the knowledge, I had been well content that
thou should'st have dipped the pen this moment into the ink
instead of myself; but that not being the case--Mrs. Shandy being
now close beside me, preparing for bed--I have thrown together
without order, and just as they have come into my mind, such hints
and documents as I deem may be of use to thee; intending, in this,
to give thee a token of my love; not doubting, my dear Toby, of
the manner in which it will be accepted.

"In the first place, with regard to all which concerns religion in
the affair--though I perceive from a glow in my cheek, that I
blush as I begin to speak to thee upon the subject, as well
knowing, notwithstanding thy unaffected secrecy, how few of its
offices thou neglectest--yet I would remind thee of one (during
the continuance of thy courtship) in a particular manner, which I
would not have omitted; and that is, never to go forth upon the
enterprise, whether it be in the morning or in the afternoon,
without first recommending thyself to the protection of Almighty
God, that He may defend thee from the evil one.

"Shave the whole top of thy crown clean once at least every four or
five days, but oftener if convenient; lest in taking off thy wig
before her, thro' absence of mind, she should be able to discover
how much has been cut away by Time--how much by Trim.

"'Twere better to keep ideas of baldness out of her fancy.

"Always carry it in thy mind, and act upon it as a sure maxim,
Toby--

"_'That women are timid.'_ And 'tis well they are--else there would
be no dealing with them.

"Let not thy breeches be too tight, or hang too loose about thy
thighs, like the trunk-hose of our ancestors.

"A just medium prevents all conclusions.

"Whatever thou hast to say, be it more or less, forget not to utter
it in a low soft tone of voice. Silence, and whatever approaches
it, weaves dreams of midnight secrecy into the brain: For this
cause, if thou canst help it, never throw down the tongs and
poker.

"Avoid all kinds of pleasantry and facetiousness in thy discourse
with her, and do whatever lies in thy power at the same time, to
keep from her all books and writings which tend there to: there
are some devotional tracts, which if thou canst entice her to
read over,