drunk, and a feast, which
they were giving themselves, in my triclinium. They had more thought
of seeing death than me, and would have been less terrified by it.
Thou knowest with what a firm hand I hold my house; all to the last one
dropped on their knees, and some fainted from terror. But dost thou know
how I acted? At the first moment I wished to call for rods and hot iron,
but immediately a kind of shame seized me, and, wilt thou lend belief?
a species of pity for those wretched people. Among them are old slaves
whom my grandfather, Marcus Vinicius, brought from the Rhine in the
time of Augustus. I shut myself up alone in the library, and there came
stranger thoughts still to my head; namely, that after what I had heard
and seen among the Christians, it did not become me to act with slaves
as I had acted hitherto--that they too were people. For a number of days
they moved about in mortal terror, in the belief that I was delaying so
as to invent punishment the more cruel, but I did not punish, and did
not punish because I was not able. Summoning them on the third day, I
said, 'I forgive you; strive then with earnest service to correct your
fault!' They fell on their knees, covering their faces with tears,
stretching forth their hands with groans, and called me lord and father;
but I--with shame do I write this--was equally moved. It seemed to me
that at that moment I was looking at the sweet face of Lygia, and her
eyes filled with tears, thanking me for that act. And, proh pudor! I
felt that my lips too were moist. Dost know what I will confess to thee?
This--that I cannot do without her, that it is ill for me alone, that I
am simply unhappy, and that my sadness is greater than thou wilt admit.
But, as to my slaves, one thing arrested my attention. The forgiveness
which they received not only did not make them insolent, not only did
not weaken discipline, but never had fear roused them to such ready
service as has gratitude. Not only do they serve, but they seem to vie
with one another to divine my wishes. I mention this to thee because,
when, the day before I left the Christians, I told Paul that society
would fall apart because of his religion, as a cask without hoops, he
answered, 'Love is a stronger hoop than fear.' And now I see that in
certain cases his opinion may be right. I have verified it also with
references to clients, who, learning of my return, hurried to salute me.
Thou knowest that I have never been pe