The Project Gutenberg EBook of Clocks, by Jerome K. Jerome

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

Title: Clocks
From a volume entitled "Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow"

Author: Jerome K. Jerome

Posting Date: July 26, 2008 [EBook #855]
Release Date: March, 1997

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CLOCKS ***

Produced by Ron Burkey, and Amy Thomte

CLOCKS

By Jerome K. Jerome

Transcriber's Note:

1. Italicized phrases are delimited by the underline character.

2. Hyphens have been left in the text only where it was the clear
intention of the author. For example, throughout the text, "tonight" and
"tomorrow" appear as "to-night" and "to-morrow". This is intentional,
and is not simply a legacy of words having been broken across lines in
the printed text.

3. The pound (currency) symbol has been replaced by the word "pounds".

CLOCKS.

There are two kinds of clocks. There is the clock that is always wrong,
and that knows it is wrong, and glories in it; and there is the clock
that is always right--except when you rely upon it, and then it is more
wrong than you would think a clock _could_ be in a civilized country.

I remember a clock of this latter type, that we had in the house when I
was a boy, routing us all up at three o'clock one winter's morning. We
had finished breakfast at ten minutes to four, and I got to school a
little after five, and sat down on the step outside and cried, because I
thought the world had come to an end; everything was so death-like!

The man who can live in the same house with one of these clocks, and
not endanger his chance of heaven about once a month by standing up and
telling it what he thinks of it, is either a dangerous rival to that old
established firm, Job, or else he does not know enough bad language to
make it worth his while to start saying anything at all.

The great dream of its life is to lure you on into trying to catch a
train by it. For weeks and weeks it will keep the most perfect time. If
there were any difference in time between that clock and the sun, you
would be convinced it was the sun, not the clock, that wanted seeing to.
You feel that if tha