ay be something perfectly dreadful,
for all I know. Well, if it is a fearful thing, like kissing him, I shall
have to break my word, which I never do for any consideration whatever.

Oh, dear, oh, dear! It is not always so easy to laugh at life as I once
thought. I almost wish I were settled down, and had not to be an
adventuress. Some situations are so difficult. I think now I shall go to
bed.

I wonder if Lord Robert---- No, what is the good of wondering; he is no
longer my affair.

I shall blow out the light.

300 PARK STREET,

Saturday night, _November 19th._

I do not much care to look back to the rest of my stay at Tryland. It is
an unpleasant memory.

That next day after I last wrote, it poured with rain, and every one came
down cross to breakfast. The whole party appeared, except Lady Verningham,
and breakfast was just as stiff and boring as dinner. I happened to be
seated when Lord Robert came in, and Malcolm was in the place beside me.
Lord Robert hardly spoke, and looked at me once or twice with his eyebrows
right up.

I did long to say it was because I had promised Lady Ver I would not play
with him that I was not talking to him now like the afternoon before. I
wonder if he ever guessed it. Oh, I wished then, and I have wished a
hundred times since, that I had never promised at all. It seemed as if it
would be wisest to avoid him, as how could I explain the change in myself?
I hated the food, and Malcolm had such an air of proprietorship it annoyed
me as much as I could see it annoyed Lady Katherine. I sniffed at him, and
was as disagreeable as could be.

The breakfasts there don't shine, and porridge is pressed upon people by
Mr. Montgomerie. "Capital stuff to begin the day--burrrr," he says.

Lord Robert could not find anything he wanted, it seemed. Every one was
peevish. Lady Katherine has a way of marshalling people on every occasion;
she reminds me of a hen with chickens, putting her wings down and clucking
and chasing till they are all in a corner. And she is rather that shape,
too, very much rounded in front. The female brood soon found themselves in
the morning-room, with the door shut, and no doubt the male things fared
the same with their host--anyway, we saw no more of them till we caught
sight of them passing the windows in scutums and mackintoshes, a depressed
company of sportsmen.