ed, like Cicely Parker's. Mrs. Carruthers often said, "You
need not suppose, Evangeline, that you are going to have a quiet life with
your coloring; the only thing one can hope for is that you will screw on
your head."
Lady Ver and Lord Robert were already in the hall waiting for us, but the
second I saw them I knew she had been saying something to Lord Robert. His
face, so gay and _debonnaire_ all through dinner, now looked set and
stern, and he took not the slightest notice of me as we walked to the
box--the big one next the stage on the pit tier.
Lady Ver appeared triumphant--her eyes were shining with big blacks in the
middle, and such bright spots of pink in her cheeks--she looked lovely;
and I can't think why, but I suddenly felt I hated her. It was horrid of
me, for she was so kind, and settled me in the corner behind the curtain
where I could see and not be seen, rather far back, while she and Lord
Robert were quite in the front. It was "Carmen"--the opera. I had never
seen it before.
Music has such an effect--every note seems to touch some emotion in me. I
feel wicked, or good, or exalted, or--or--oh, some queer feeling that I
don't know what it is--a kind of electric current down my back, and as
if--as if I would like to love some one and have them to kiss me. Oh, it
sounds perfectly dreadful what I have written, but I can't help it--that
is what some music does to me, and I said always I should tell the truth
here.
From the very beginning note to the end I was feeling--feeling--Oh, how I
understand her--Carmen!--_fruit defendu_ attracted her so--the beautiful,
wicked, fascinating snake. I also wanted to dance, and to move like that,
and I unconsciously quivered perhaps. I was cold as ice, and fearfully
excited. The back of Lord Robert's beautifully set head impeded my view at
times. How exquisitely groomed he is! And one could see at a glance _his_
mother had not been a housemaid! I never have seen anything look so well
bred as he does.
Lady Ver was talking to him in a cooing, low voice after the first act,
and the second act, and indeed even when the third act had begun. He
seemed much more _empresse_ with her than he generally does. It--it hurt
me, that and the music and the dancing, and Mr. Carruthers whispering
passionate little words at intervals, even though I paid no attention to
them; but altogether I, too, felt a kind of madness.
Suddenly Lord Robert turned round, and for five seconds loo
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