s lurked in the bottom of every
teacup.

Towards the end of the week we received a card from the town ladies, in
which, with their compliments, they hoped to see all our family at
church the Sunday following. All Saturday morning I could perceive, in
consequence of this, my wife and daughters in close conference together,
and now and then glancing at me with looks that betrayed a latent plot.
To be sincere, I had strong suspicions that some absurd proposal was
preparing for appearing with splendor the next day. In the evening they
began their operations in a very regular manner, and my wife undertook
to conduct the siege. After tea, when I seemed in spirits, she began
thus: "I fancy, Charles my dear, we shall have a great deal of good
company at our church to-morrow." "Perhaps we may, my dear," returned I;
"though you need be under no uneasiness about that; you shall have a
sermon whether there be or not." "That is what I expect," returned she;
"but I think, my dear, we ought to appear there as decently as possible,
for who knows what may happen?" "Your precautions," replied I, "are
highly commendable. A decent behavior and appearance in church is what
charms me. We should be devout and humble, cheerful and serene." "Yes,"
cried she, "I know that; but I mean we should go there in as proper a
manner as possible; not altogether like the scrubs about us." "You are
quite right, my dear," returned I; "and I was going to make the very
same proposal. The proper manner of going is to go there as early as
possible, to have time for meditation before the service begins." "Phoo,
Charles!" interrupted she; "all that is very true, but not what I would
be at. I mean we should go there genteelly. You know the church is two
miles off, and I protest I don't like to see my daughters trudging up to
their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and looking for all the
world as if they had been winners at a smock-race. Now, my dear, my
proposal is this: there are our two plow-horses, the colt that has been
in our family these nine years, and his companion Blackberry that has
scarcely done an earthly thing this month past. They are both grown fat
and lazy. Why should not they do something as well as we? And let me
tell you, when Moses has trimmed them a little they will cut a very
tolerable figure."

To this proposal I objected that walking would be twenty times more
genteel than such a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed and
the