AM-GUILLOTINE

[The monarch satirized in this poem was Francesco IV., Duke of
Modena, a petty Nero, who executed not a few of the Italian
patriots of 1831.]

A most wonderful steam-machine,
One time set up in China-land,
Outdid the insatiate guillotine,
For in three hours, you understand,
It cut off a hundred thousand heads
In a row, like hospital beds.

This innovation stirred a breeze,
And some of the bonzes even thought
Their barbarous country by degrees
To civilization might be brought,
Leaving Europeans, with their schools,
Looking like fools.

The Emperor was an honest man--
A little stiff, and dull of pate;
Like other asses, hard and slow.
He loved his subjects and the State,
And patronized all clever men
Within his ken.

His people did not like to pay
Their taxes and their other dues,--
They cheated the revenue, sad to say:
So their good ruler thought he'd choose
As the best argument he'd seen,
This sweet machine.

The thing's achievements were so great,
They gained a pension for the man,--
The executioner of State,--
Who got a patent for his plan,
Besides becoming a Mandarin
Of great Pekin.

A courtier cried: "Good guillotine!
Let's up and christen it, I say!"
"Ah, why," cries to his counselor keen
A Nero of our present day,
"Why was not born within _my_ State
A man so great?"

Translated for 'A Library of the World's Best Literature.'

[Illustration: WILLIAM E. GLADSTONE.]

WILLIAM EWART GLADSTONE

(1809-)

In view of his distinguished career, it is interesting to know that it
is a part of Mr. Gladstone's unresting ambition to take a place among
the literary men of the time, and to guide the thoughts of his
countrymen in literary as well as in political, social, and economic
subjects. Mr. Gladstone's preparation to become a man of letters was
extensive. Born in Liverpool December 29th, 1809, he was sent to Eton
and afterwards to Oxford, where he took the highest honors, and was the
most remarkable graduate of his generation. His fellow students carried
away a vivid recollection of his _viva voce_ examination for his degree:
the tall figure, the flashing eye, the mobile countenance, in the midst
of the crowd who pressed to hear him, while the examiners plied him with