age has been used in this here
room, regarding the question we have been discussing these three or four
nights back; but we have all spoke our minds freely, and stood to it
like men who isn't afeard to speak their sentiments anywhere. Now, I
says that's what I likes. I likes a man to stand to his tackle. But I
hates, as I do the devil, your snakes in the grass, your smooth-chopped
fellows, who hears all and never says nothing, so as how you can't tell
whether he is fish or flesh. I say, I hate such dastardly, sneaking
fellows, who won't speak out; and I says that such are unfit for this
company;" (here the speaker looked hard at me); "and I move that he be
turned out directly, neck and heel."

Well, this speech, my friends (went on the melancholy gentleman), which
you will perceive was levelled at me, was received with a shout of
applause by both parties. The ruffing and cheering was immense; and
most laudably prompt was the execution of the proposal that excited
it. Before I had time to evacuate the premises quietly and of my own
accord, which I was about to do, I was seized by the breast by a tall
ferocious-looking fellow, who sat next me, and who was immediately aided
by three or four others, and dragged over every obstacle that stood in
the way to the door, out of which I was finally kicked with particular
emphasis.

Such, then, my friends (said the melancholy gentleman), was the first
most remarkable instance of the benefits I was likely to derive from my
inoffensive non-meddling disposition. However, it was my nature; and
neither this unmerited treatment, nor any other usage which I afterwards
experienced, could alter it.

Some time after this, I connected myself with a certain congregation in
our town, and it unfortunately happened that, soon after I joined them,
they came all to sixes and sevens about a minister. One party was for a
Mr. Triterite, the other a Mr. White. These were distinguished, as
usual, in such and similar cases, by the adjunct _ite_, which had, as
you may perceive, a most unhappy effect in the case of the name of the
first gentleman, whose followers were called Triteriteites, and those of
the other Whiteites. However, this was but a small matter. To proceed.
In the squabbles alluded to, gentlemen, I took no part; it being a
matter of perfect indifference to me which of the candidates had the
appointment. All that I desired was, that I might be let alone, and not
be called upon to interfere