or of others. I would, in short, at any
time, rather sacrifice my interests than quarrel with any one; while I
reckon it the greatest happiness to be let alone, and to be allowed to
get through the world quietly and noiselessly. From my very infancy, my
friends (said the melancholy gentleman), I loved quiet above all things;
and there is a tradition in our family, strikingly corroborative of
this. The tradition alluded to bears that I never cried while an infant,
and that I never could endure my rattle. Well, gentlemen, such were and
such still are my dispositions. But, offending no one, and interfering
with no one, how have I been treated in my turn? You shall hear.

At school, I was thrashed by the master for not interfering to prevent
my companions fighting; and I was thrashed by my companions for not
taking part in their quarrels: so that, between them, I had, I assure
you, a very miserable life of it. However, these were but small matters,
compared to what befell me after I had fairly embarked in the world.

My first experience after this, of how little my peaceful and
inoffensive disposition would avail me, was with an evening club which I
joined. For some time I got on very well with the persons who composed
this association, and seemed--at least I thought so--to be rather a
favourite with them, on account of my quiet and peaceable demeanour;
and, under ordinary circumstances, perhaps I might have continued so.
But the demon of discord got amongst them, and I became, in consequence
of my non-resisting qualities, the scapegoat of their spleen; or rather,
I became the safety-valve by which their passions found a harmless
egress. But, to drop metaphor, my friends (said the melancholy
gentleman), the club got to loggerheads on a certain political
question--I forget now what it was--and for some nights there was a
great deal of angry discussion and violent altercation on the subject.
In these debates, however, in accordance with my natural disposition, I
took no part whatever, except by making some fruitless attempts to abate
the resentment of the parties, by thrusting in a jocular remark or so,
when anything particularly severe was said. Well, gentlemen, how was I
rewarded for this charitable conduct, think you? Why, I'll tell you.

On the third or fourth night, I think it was, of the discussion alluded
to, a member got up and said, addressing the club--"My friends, a good
deal of vituperation and opprobrious langu