in any way in the dispute. But would they
allow me this indulgence, think you? No, not they. They resolved,
seemingly, that my unobtrusive conduct should be no protection to me.
Two or three days after the commencement of the contest, I was waited
upon by a deputation from a committee of the Triteriteites, and
requested to join them in opposing the Whiteites. This I civilly
declined; telling them, at the same time, that it was my intention and
my earnest wish to avoid all interference in the pending controversy;
that I was perfectly indifferent to which of the candidates the church
was given, and would be very glad to become a hearer of either of them;
that, in short, I wished to make myself no enemies on account of any
such contest.

"Oh, very well, Mr. B----," said the spokesman, reddening with anger,
"we understand all this perfectly, and think very little, I assure you,
of such mean evasive conduct. Had you said boldly and at once that you
favoured the other party, we would at least have given you credit for
honesty. But you may depend upon it, sir," he added, "White never will
get the church. That you may rely upon."

"Scurvy conduct," muttered another of the committee, as he was retiring
after the speaker.

"Shabby, sniveling, _drivelling_ conduct," muttered a third.

"Low, mean, _sneaking_ conduct," said a fourth.

"Dirty subterfuge," exclaimed a fifth. And off the gentlemen went.

But they had not yet done with me. One of the number was a person with
whom I had some acquaintance, and the next day I received from him the
following note:--"Sir, your unmanly (I will not mince the matter with
you), your unmanly and disingenuous conduct yesterday, when called upon
by Mr. Triterite's committee, has so disgusted me that I beg you to
understand that we are friends no longer. A candid and open avowal of
opposite sentiments from those which I entertain, I trust, I shall be
always liberal enough to tolerate in any one, without prejudice to
previous intimacy; but I cannot remain on terms of friendship with a man
who has the meanness to seek to conciliate the party he opposes, by
concealing his adherence to that which he has espoused.--I am, sir,"
&c.

Well, my friends (said the melancholy gentleman), was not this an
extremely hard case? To be thus abused, and reviled, and scouted, for
merely desiring to be allowed to live in peace, and to have nothing to
do with a squabble in which I did not feel in any way interes