orld, I believe, must for such
Discoveries be obliged to my very good Friend _J----
T----_ Esq; who had the Honour to be Door-keeper to
that Honourable Assembly.

But to return to Sir _John_: The more his Wit engaged
the King, the more his Grandeur alarm'd his Enemies,
who encreas'd with his Honours. Not but the Courtiers
caress'd him to a Man, as the first who had brought
Dumpling-eating to Perfection. King _John_ himself
lov'd him entirely; being of _Cesar_'s Mind, that is,
he had a natural Antipathy against Meagre,
Herring-gutted Wretches; he lov'd only _Fat-headed
Men, and such who slept o' Nights_; and of such was
his whole Court compos'd. Now it was Sir _John_'s
Method, every _Sunday_ Morning, to give the Courtiers
a Breakfast, which Breakfast was every Man his
Dumpling and Cup of Wine; for you must know, he was
Yeoman of the Wine-Cellar at the same time.

This was a great Eye-sore and Heart-burning to some
Lubberly Abbots who loung'd about the Court; they took
it in great Dudgeon they were not Invited, and stuck
so close to his Skirts, that they never rested 'till
they Outed him. They told the King, who was naturally
very Hasty, that Sir _John_ made-away with his Wine,
and feasted his Paramours at his Expence; and not only
so, but that they were forming a Design against his
Life, which they in Conscience ought to discover: That
Sir _John_ was not only an Heretic, but an Heathen;
nay worse, they fear'd he was a Witch, and that he had
bewitcht His Majesty into that unaccountable Fondness
for a _Pudding-Maker_. They assur'd the King, That on
a _Sunday_ Morning, instead of being at Mattins, he
and his Trigrimates got together Hum-jum, all snug,
and perform'd many Hellish and Diabolical Ceremonies.
In short, they made the King believe that the Moon was
made of Green-Cheese: And to shew how the Innocent may
be Bely'd, and the best Intentions misrepresented,
they told the King, That He and his Associates offer'd
Sacrifices to _Ceres_: When, alas, it was only the
Dumplings they eat. The Butter which was melted and
pour'd over them, these vile Miscreants call'd
_Libations_: And the friendly Compotations of our
Dumpling-eaters, were call'd _Bacchanalian Rites_. Two
or three among 'em being sweet-tooth'd, wou'd strew a
little Sugar over their Dumplings; this was
represented as an _Heathenish Offering_. In short, not
one Action of theirs, but what these Rascally Abbots
made Criminal, and never let the King alon