Bishops, Priests and Deacons have,
Time out of Mind, been great Pudding-Eaters: Is it not
therefore a Holy and Religious Institution?
Philosophers, Poets, and Learned Men in all Faculties,
Judges, Privy-Councellors, and Members of both Houses,
have, by their great Regard to Pudding, given a
Sanction to it that nothing can efface. Is it not
therefore Ancient, Honourable, and Commendable?

_Quare itaque fremuerunt Auctores?_

Why do therefore the Enemies of good Eating, the
Starve-gutted Authors of Grub-street, employ their
impotent Pens against Pudding and Pudding-headed,
_alias_ Honest Men? Why do they inveigh against
Dumpling-Eating which is the Life and Soul of
Good-fellowship, and Dumpling-Eaters who are the
Ornaments of Civil Society.

But, alas! their Malice is their own Punishment. The
Hireling Author of a late scandalous Libel, intituled,
_The Dumpling-Eaters Downfall_, may, if he has any
Eyes, now see his Error, in attacking so Numerous,
so August a Body of People: His Books remain Unsold,
Unread, Unregarded; while this Treatise of Mine shall
be Bought by all who love Pudding or Dumpling; to my
Bookseller's great Joy, and my no small Consolation.
How shall I Triumph, and how will that Mercenary
Scribbler be Mortify'd, when I have sold more Editions
of my Books, than he has Copies of his! I therefore
exhort all People, Gentle and Simple, Men, Women and
Children, to Buy, to Read, to Extol these Labours of
Mine, for the Honour of Dumpling-Eating. Let them not
fear to defend every Article; for I will bear them
Harmless: I have Arguments good store, and can easily
Confute, either Logically, Theologically, or
Metaphysically, all those who dare Oppose me.

Let not _Englishmen_ therefore be asham'd of the Name
of _Pudding-Eaters_; but, on the contrary, let it be
their Glory. For let Foreigners cry out ne'er so much
against Good Eating, they come easily into it when
they have been a little while in our _Land of Canaan_;
and there are very few Foreigners among as who have
not learn'd to make as great a Hole in a good Pudding
or Sirloin of Beef as the best _Englishman_ of us all.

Why shou'd we then be Laught out of Pudding and
Dumpling? or why Ridicul'd out of Good Living? Plots
and Politics may hurt us, but Pudding cannot. Let us
therefore adhere to Pudding, and keep our selves out
of Harm's Way; according to the Golden Rule laid down
by a celebrated Dumpling-Eater now defunct;

_Be of your Patron's