ng he will take to get served. He begins with
a note for fifty and goes on with fifty in fivers. Then he has twenty
sovereigns, and so on, down to the pound in copper. He and the cashier
chat airily the while of cabbages and kaisers. Then at last he goes away
full, and the cashier turns to me.

The Saturday before last I ventured to ask whether, if the
hundred-and-fifty pounder always insisted on arriving two seconds before
me, it wouldn't be possible to cash my cheque, which is a simple little
thing, in one of the intervals during which, after sending to the
cellars for more gold, they relapse into easy conversation; or,
alternatively, if it was really necessary to pay a customer exactly the
complicated bunches of monies he demanded; and, if so, whether it
couldn't be done any quicker.

The answer proving unsatisfactory I determined to arrive earlier last
Saturday. I made no mistake. I hung about the door of the bank for a
quarter of an hour till I saw my rival approach. I came in just ahead of
him, and presented my cheque. The cashier received it with his usual
little smile and turned it over. Then his usual little smile left him
and he set sadly to work.

The hundred-and-fifty pound man chafed and stamped his feet behind me
for ten minutes, while I gloated. It was my day--my _Tag_.

I think you may like to know just in what shape I demanded the payment
of my modest fifty shillings:--

_L_ _s._ _d._

1 0 0 in one pound notes.
0 10 0 in ten shilling notes.
0 10 0 in gold.
0 5 0 in shilling postal orders.
0 2 0 in threepenny bits.
0 0 9-1/2 in halfpennies.
0 1 10-1/4 in farthings.
0 0 4 in silver, if possible
(otherwise stamps).
0 0 0-1/4 in pins.
_______________
2 10 0

* * * * *

Illustration: _ GERMAN KAISER. "LET US PREY."_

* * * * *

WAR DECLARATIONS.

"No, I don't mean that at all," said my wife hastily. "You quite
misunderstand me. Of course everyone is to have as much, quite as much,
food as he wants."

"Stop a bit. Does that mean as much as he likes?" I asked.

"Or as much as his system requires?" suggested the Reverend Henry.

"Or as much as he can contain?" demanded Sinclair. "It may seem to be a
fine point, but I think we ought to have it cleared up."

The hostess resumed: