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You beat your pate, and fancy wit will come.
Knock as you please,--there's nobody at home.

Alexander Pope [1688-1744]

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If a man who turnips cries
Cry not when his father dies,
'Tis a proof that he would rather
Have a turnip than a father.

Samuel Johnson [1709-1784]

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Life is a jest, and all things show it;
I said so once, and now I know it.

John Gay [1685-1732]

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I am his Highness' dog at Kew.
Pray, sir, tell me,--whose dog are you?

Alexander Pope [1688-1744]

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Sir, I admit your general rule,
That every poet is a fool,
But you yourself may serve to show it,
That every fool is not a poet.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge [1772-1834]

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Damis, an author cold and weak,
Thinks as a critic he's divine;
Likely enough; we often make
Good vinegar of sorry wine.

Unknown

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Swans sing before they die--'twere no bad thing
Did certain persons die before they sing.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge [1772-1834]

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He who in his pocket hath no money
Should, in his mouth, be never without honey.

Unknown

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Nobles and heralds, by your leave,
Here lies what once was Matthew Prior,
The son of Adam and of Eve;
Can Bourbon or Nassau claim higher?

Matthew Prior [1664-1721]

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Here lie I, Martin Elginbrodde;
Hae mercy o' my soul, Lord God,
As I wad do were I Lord God,
And ye were Martin Elginbrodde.

George Macdonald [1824-1905]

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Who killed Kildare? Who dared Kildare to kill?
Death killed Kildare--who dare kill whom he will.

Jonathan Swift [1667-1745]

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With death doomed to grapple,
Beneath the cold slab he
Who lied in the chapel
Now lies in the abbey.

Byron's epitaph for Pitt

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When doctrines meet with general approbation,
It is not heresy, but reformation.

David Garrick [1717-1779]

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Treason doth never prosper; what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

John Harington [1561-1612]

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God bless the King--I mean the faith's defender!
God bless (no harm in blessing!) the Pretender!
But who pretender is, or who is King--
God bless us all!--that's quite another thing.

John Byrom [1692-1763]

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'Tis highly rational, we can't dispute,
The Love, being naked, should promote a suit:
But doth not oddity to him attac