ender
as a child.

[Illustration: Uncle Madison]

It was telegraphed all over the country that A. P. Clayton, Mayor of St.
Joe, Mo., and Alfred, were behind the bars in Pittsburgh, Pa. Bill Brown
telegraphed W. E. Joseph, Masonic Temple, Columbus: "Clayton and Field
in jail here, will you help to get them out?" The answer was: "If
Clayton and Alfred are in jail, it's where they belong. W. E. Joseph."

Uncle Madison read of it in the newspapers. He reared and charged. "Bill
Brown nor no other man could put him in jail without suffering for it."
Alfred's explanation did not satisfy Uncle Madison. "It's only Bill's
way of having fun with his friends. No one that goes to Pittsburgh but
Bill plays some sort of a joke on him. We are glad to get off so easy.
We expected him to steal our clothes or have us indicted for
bootlegging. Why, there are a number of people in the west--good
people--who will not go east via Pittsburgh, fearing Bill's practical
jokes."

Pet Clayton, Imperial Potentate of the Shrine, was _compelled_ to visit
Pittsburgh in connection with his official duties. Clayton carried
Alfred with him as protection. Alfred, in his haste, forgot his dress
suit. Arriving in Pittsburgh only a few moments before the ceremonial
session, Bill insisted Alfred wear one of his (Bill's) dress suits; that
it was the rule of the Temple that all must wear dress suits to gain
admission. Bill is wider than Alfred, "thicker through," but not quite
as tall. There was too much space everywhere excepting in the length of
legs and arms of Bill's dress suit, as it encompassed Alfred. No coaxing
or lengthening of the suspenders or pulling at the sleeves could make
Alfred look other than ridiculous. After walking from the Ft. Pitt Hotel
to the Temple, the suit began to "set" to its new conditions. The legs,
seat and sleeves, were drawing up at every breath.

Bill, in introducing the visitors, kindly made apologies for the
condition of Clayton, and the appearance of Alfred, explaining that
Clayton had just come from Louisville, where he was booked for one night
only, but there was more to inspect than he had ever tackled before. He
also assured the Nobility that Alfred owned a dress suit but they would
not permit him to take it out of Columbus; that the suit Alfred wore was
one he had kindly loaned him and he hoped that if anything happened
Alfred those assembled would respect the clothes. When Alfred arose the
next morning to prepare