sh.

Aunt Tillie said: "Well, you boasted Field would have something no other
baby in this section had and you made good--nothing like that cradle was
ever seen in this section. I wonder what you will think of next to
squander your money on?"

When the cradle is referred to Alfred flares up. "I've had three or four
offers for it lately. I expect a man here to look at it tomorrow. Don't
you dare to break it up to make chicken coops with. I'll get three times
as much as I paid for it just as soon as sensible people who are raising
a baby learn I have a cradle. Some smart man will start a cradle
factory, and he'll get the money, too."

All the common sense suggestions offered by Alfred were rejected. He
volunteered to walk the floor with baby while he was cutting teeth.

"No, sir, no, sir, I will not permit you to walk the floor with him
while he is cutting his teeth. You walk the floor with him when he is
teething, when he grows up the dentist will have to carry him around the
office before working on his teeth."

"Don't ride him backwards. He will be bald. Riding backwards is the
cause of half the baldness in the world."

Nurse had a schedule by which baby's cries were timed. Lung expansion
was necessary. Crying was essential to lung expansion, exercising his
voice Field made a new schedule. He was on time; in fact, he worked
overtime. He cried by sun time, that is, he began by sun time and quit
by any time. He cried until George Washington's portrait turned its face
to the wall, the dogs howled, and the cream soured.

Notwithstanding, the baby of these days is raised after the automatic
drop-a-nickle-in-the-slot manner, it is surprising how they thrive. He
was a tiny, human toy a little while back; now he is the autocrat of the
house, the absolute boss. Riding or driving, walking or autoing--he is
first. He sits at the head of the table. If he desires aught, his
desires are gratified. It is only those who have crossed the apex and
begun the descent on the other side, that can realize how quickly
children--the baby of yesterday, becomes the head of the house, ruling
all with love. Field will be a year old the first of the month. He will
have a birthday party; there will be a cake and one candle. Aunt Tillie
will have a birthday party for Uncle Al soon. When she asked his age
that she might order the candles to decorate the cake, he answered,
"Just make it a birthday party, not a torch light procession like Ollie