own, (no relation to Bill Brown), editor of the _Louisville
Times_, one of Alfred's warmest friends, published a feature article, a
brief history of Alfred's career, touching on his newspaper experiences,
however, omitting the cow-doctor experience. The article concluded with
a lengthy write-up of Alfred as a farmer. The paper was carried in
triumph and read to Mrs. Field and Pearl. Bob predicted the success for
Alfred in farming that he had attained in minstrelsy. Several
illustrations in Bob's write-up exhibited Alfred in farmer's garb,
feeding cattle, sheep and hogs out of his hand.

The wife observed: "Why, you haven't got sheep, hogs or cows as yet;
have you imposed upon Mr. Brown?"

"No, certainly not. Bob is an up-to-date newspaper man. Newspapers that
wait to print things as they are, get left. Newspapers that print things
as they are to be, are the live, up-to-date, always read journals. Bob
knows I'll have things just as he represents them."

Bob Brown's write-up was greatly appreciated by Alfred even after Emmett
Logan informed him that Bob had written him confidentially that he,
Alfred, had turned farmer, but he did not know what for, as he felt
certain Alfred could not plant his feet in the road and raise dust; in
fact, he did not think Alfred could raise a parasol.

Alfred was advised that a club, of which he was an honorary member,
would entertain him--that it would be a farmer's night. Alfred well knew
there would be great fun at the expense of the farmer. He would be the
butt of all the jokes the busy brains of a dozen or more keen wits could
devise. Therefore, he studied for days that he might in a humorous way
parry the jibes. Nothing humorous in connection with the farm could be
evolved from his brain. He was too ambitious, too enthusiastic a farmer
to ridicule any phase of his newly adopted calling.

Therefore, when the chairman concluded his introduction in these words:
"And now, gentlemen, we have a farmer as our guest here tonight. It has
been the plaint of the farmer from time out of mind that he had not
representation; that he had not voice in affairs that had to do with his
vocation. The newly made clod-hopper is respectfully informed that he
can air his grievances to the fullest extent and that, unlike others, we
will not pass resolutions of acquiescence in his views and then
repudiate them. We will file them in our archives as a memento of the
fact that another good man has gone wrong. A