Rooney an' Misther Dooley, the
latther crassin' himself ivery minnit an' blessin' God ivery step he tuk
that it wasn't the jail he was goin' to, an' they were married there wid a
roarin' crowd waitin' in the strate fur to show thim home. But they
sarcumvinted thim, bekase they wint out the back way an' through Father
O'Donohue's garden, an' so home, lavin' the mob howlin' before the chapel
dure like wild Ingines.

"An' that's the way the owld maid defated three widdys, that isn't often
done, no more would she have done it but for owld Moll an' the charm in
Dooley's coat. But he's very well plazed, an' that I know, for afther me
first wife died, her I was tellin' ye av, I got the roomytics in me back
like tin t'ousand divils clawin' at me backbone, an' I made me mind up
that I'd get another wife, bekase I wanted me back rubbed, sence it 'ull
be chaper, says I, to marry some wan to rub it than to pay a boy to do
that same. So I was lookin' roun' an' met Misther Dooley an' spake av it
to him, an' good luck it 'ud have been if I'd tuk his advice, but I
didn't, bein' surrounded be a widdy afther, that's rubbed me back well fur
me only wid a shtick. But says he to me, 'Take you my advice Misther
Magwire, an' whin ye marry, get you an owld maid, if there's wan to be had
in the counthry. Gurruls is flighty an' axpectin' too much av ye, an'
widdys is greedy buzzards as ye've seen be my axpayrience, but owld maids
is humble, an' thankful for gettin' a husband at all, God bless 'em, so
they shtrive to plaze an' do as ye bid thim widout grumblin' or axin'
throublesome questions.'"

[Illustration: "A good bargain they made av it"]

***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IRISH WONDERS***

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October 7, 2006

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