dont
break your neck in one of these places they get the corners banked the
wrong way so youll slide off an get drownd. If they miss you on the
straitaway theyll get you on the turns.

The Lootenant sleeps with a couple of doboy oficers in a sekshun of
engine boiler set in the side of the trench. I sleep down in a place
that looks like an old mine. About the only way you could get a shell
into the thing would be to lower it down with a rope. Its the best
billet Ive struck up here tho. Theres no windos for fresh air feends
to be monkeyin with all the time, an of course there aint no light to
shine in your face when your tryin to sleep. The only trouble is
theres seven fellos sleepin there an only five bunks so we got to take
turns sleepin. The floor is to muddy.

That is to say, Mable, seven fellos an two hundred rats. I never used
to take much stock in those rat stories but I certinly take off my hat
to them now. Thats about all you can take off unless you want to get
eaten. These fellos will eat anything from the hobnails out of your
shoes to a bag of Bull. They make a goat look like a dispeptik. You
dont notice them while the candles are lit an your movin around. As
soon as you blow out the light an lie still, tho, you can hear them
comin out all over to have dinner off your equipment.

They have what they call a runners bench outside the tin house where
the Lootenant sleeps. Joe an I is supposed to take turns sittin there.
Its something like the bell hops bench in a hotel only this is an
active front. You wont get that for a minit, Mable. All you can here
when your sittin out there a fello inside saying "Hello. Pancake. Get
off the wire Peggy. I want Pancake. Pancake busy? Give me Pauline. Is
that you Purgatory? This is Pineapple speakin."

After Id lissened to that for about half an hour I felt like the gate
gard of a bug house. I got hold of the Lootenant in a friendly way an
told him Id go halves on my bunk with him cause I didnt think it was
safe to sleep with that fello. He might think he was a crum some night
an try to choke somebody. The Lootenant said that was just a way they
had of telefonin up here. He said you never could tell when a German
might be lyin up on the roof or under a bunk lissenin to you. On
account of that nobody called anybody else by there right name. For
instance he said they called the General Pancake an the Colonel Peggy
an this place was called Pineapple.

The more I thought about