his pillo
an says 'Your better now.'" That smoothin out the pillo always seems
to cure em. Well, Mable, Im sorry to say thats all bunk--every word of
it.

When I first heard they were goin to send me to a hospittle behind the
lines I didnt care a bit. I wanted to have a look at a vilet eyed
nurse. Accordin to the books they usuly turn out to be Dutcheses or
somebody. I was plannin to look up in her eyes an say "This must be
heven. Do you happen to have any lemonade?" Or something mushy like
that. Then shed cry some more an like as not put a stick in the
lemonade.

[Illustration: "'DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY LEMONADE?'"]

Of course I wouldnt have married her or nothin. In the first place all
the churches over here is knocked down an besides I got other plans if
I ever get a chance between wars.

The thing started off all wrong by my not bein unconshus when they
brought me in. I didnt even ride in on a stretcher. I was a sittin
case. They walk. Before I could get into the place at all I had to
report to a sargent. He ast me so many questions I thought I must have
struck some recruitin stashun an might be enlistin agen. I pretty near
had heart failure for a minit. The sargent told me report to Ward 19.
You never go anywhere in the army. You report. Theyd have a fello in
his coffin report to his grave if they could.

When they built Ward 19 they took all the joy out of it by makin it
look like a barracks. Insted of a vilet eyed nurse there was a bleary
eyed Captin sittin in a little room in front. He didnt look as if hed
been to bed since the war started. I says "Sir, Private Smith reports
to be sick in Ward 19." Nobody cried or looked at me with tears in
there eyes. The Captin just says "What the this an that is the matter
with those fellos up there do they think this is the only hospittle in
France? Lets see your card."

He called an orderly who showed me an empty bed where I was to be
sick. Then he says "If you want anything to eat you better get your
close off." Just like a fello couldnt eat right with his close on. An
he says "You dont have to set your dirty shoes on the blankets
nether."

After Id got into bed the nurse came along to take my temperment. I
aint goin to say nothin agenst that nurse tho. She was all right an it
wasnt her falt she didnt have vilet eyes. As for cryin, Mable, she was
too busy to have shed a tear if you shoved a peck of onyuns under her
nose. I never saw anybody work so hard. Shed m