s wishes to make her whom he loves suffer
No longer esteemed her highly enough to be jealous of her
Pure caprice that I myself mistook for a flash of reason
Quarrel had been, so to speak, less sad than our reconciliation
She pretended to hope for the best
Terrible words; I deserve them, but they will kill me
There are two different men in you
We have had a mass celebrated, and it cost us a large sum
What human word will ever express thy slightest caress
What you take for love is nothing more than desire

CONFESSION OF A CHILD OF THE CENTURY

(Confession d'un Enfant du Siecle)

By ALFRED DE MUSSET

BOOK 3.

PART V

CHAPTER I

SWEET ANTICIPATIONS

Having decided on a long tour, we went first to Paris; the necessary
preparations required time, and we took a furnished apartment for one
month. The decision to leave France had changed everything: joy, hope,
confidence, all returned; no more sorrow, no more grief over approaching
separation. We had now nothing but dreams of happiness and vows of
eternal love; I wished, once for all, to make my dear mistress forget all
the suffering I had caused her. How had I been able to resist such proof
of tender affection and courageous resignation? Not only did Brigitte
pardon me, but she was willing to make a still greater sacrifice and
leave everything for me. As I felt myself unworthy of the devotion she
exhibited, I wished to requite her by my love; at last my good angel had
triumphed, and admiration and love resumed their sway in my heart.
Brigitte and I examined a map to determine where we should go and bury
ourselves from the world. We had not yet decided, and we found pleasure
in that very uncertainty; while glancing over the map we said "Where
shall we go? What shall we do? Where shall we begin life anew?" How shall
I tell how deeply I repented my cruelty when I looked upon her smiling
face, a face that laughed at the future, although still pale from the
sorrows of the past! Blissful projects of future joy, you are perhaps the
only true happiness known to man! For eight days we spent our time making
purchases and preparing for our departure; then a young man presented
himself at our apartments: he brought letters to Brigitte. After their
interview I found her sad and distraught; but I could not guess the cause
unless the letters were from N------, that village where I had confessed
my love and where